Saya terima nikahnya...

Salam...

Alhamdulillah masih bernafas pada hari ini. Masih diberikan peluang untuk menebus dosa-dosa yang ada.

Alhamdulillah masih ada yang sayang. Masih punya kekuatan untuk berada di jalanNya.

Bismillahirahmanirrahim...Dengan nama Allah yang Pengasih, Maha Penyayang 

Okay...tajuk post nak kontroversi kan?

Hmmm...sebenarnya, dah lama rasa nak tulis tapi rasa segan pulak. Iyalah...kalau kaum Adam yang menulis tentang ini mungkinlah tidak ada peliknya. Tapi bila kaum Hawa yang membuka cerita terasa segan pulak. Tapi pabila terfikir sejenak, teringat pula kata akhwat (saudara Islam wanita) di sini yang kita juga perlu berikhtiar untuk mencari; bukannya duduk sahaja menunggu diri dipinang. Kerana Khajidah R.A pun meminang Rasulullah s.a.w. Okay. Mungkin ada yang akan berkata, siapalah kita untuk disamakan dengan Khadijah R.A? Hmmmm....pada saya, bukan hendak disamakan tapi tidaklah salah mengambil contoh (terutamanya contoh yang terbaik) untuk dijadikan pedoman dalam hidup.

Hmmm...Umur saya sekarang 23 dan tahun depan 24. Mungkin pada sesetengah orang, saya ni (mungkin) dikira masih muda. Tapi pada saya, saya ni berasa sudah sangat tua. Terutamanya apabila dikelilingi oleh orang-orang muda di sekeliling saya. Iyalah, akhwat lain muda-muda di sini; semuanya sebaya adik saya sendiri walaupun satu batch dengan saya. Dan saya pulak...hmmm...iyalah. Alhamdulillah Allah swt berikan peluang untuk datang ke oversea untuk belajar walaupun kalau nak dikira bila berada di Malaysia mungkin sudah hampir bergraduasi. Tapi saya pula di sini, masih menimba ilmu; masih ada baki 2 tahun untuk tamat belajar. Bukan nak menyalahkan sesiapa. Tidak, cuma menyatakan yang benar sahaja.

Kenapa ya tetiba saya ingin menulis tentang subjek ini? Sebenarnya dah lama ada perasaan ini cuma iyalah, macam tidak perlu diuar-uarkan secara berleleuasa di merata tempat.

Antara sebab-sebabnya:

1. Mungkin juga kerana keadaan sekarang di mana tidak mempunyai orang lain untuk meluahkan perasaan (semua dah balik ke Malaysia untuk cuti musim panas) yang menyebabkan saya menjadi agak sensitif dan berjiwa halus sekarang. 

2. Dan mungkin juga kerana video ini yang menyebabkan naluri saya semakin tersentuh. (sila lihat video di bawah):

3. Umur saya?

4. Along dan Angah yang kedua-duanya menanti cahaya-mata baru? haha...mungkin bukan contoh terbaik tapi saya sukakan budak kecil terutamanya bayi jadi terfikir "Bila ya giliran saya?"

Sebenarnya takut juga menulis post ini sebab entahlah...malu agaknya dan takut juga kalau ada keluarga saya yang membaca post ini dan memberitahu mak. [To my family, please don't tell mak okay? Please...]

Sebabnya mak kata, belajar dulu, baru kahwin. Mungkin kata mak ada benarnya dan saya juga ingin membuat mak gembira tapi tipulah kalau saya kata saya tak mahu kahwin...sekarang. Tapi beberapa bulan lepas, bila Skype dengan mak, mak terkejut bila saya kata umur saya dah 23 tahun. Response dia adalah "Awat hang tua sangat?" hahahaha....adess. Mak oh mak. Dah terlupa agaknya berapa umur anak-anak sebab ramai sangat yang nak diingat.

Dan topik ini sudahpun diutarakan kepada mak berkali-kali (walaupun dalam nada gurauan) hinggakan di suatu ketika mak berkata "Awat? Nak kahwin sangat ka?". Jawapan saya? Mestilah tergelak manja sahaja. Berani nak kata ya? haha. Saya juga sudah berikhtiar meminta mak dan abah mencarikan jodoh untuk saya kerana saya tidak mahu calon saya (walaupun tak ada calon sekarang) tidak diterima oleh mak dan abah. Saya mahukan keduanya gembira dengan bakal suami saya. Jadi jalan yang terbaik? Minta keduanya carikan. Namun pendapat saya ditolak mak dan abah bulat-bulat. Yeap. Mak dan abah kata baiklah saya cari sendiri calon saya sebab saya yang akan kahwin dengannya, bukan mak dan abah. Namun jawapan saya, "Kalau mak dan abah tak suka macam mana?" Jawapana mereka "Buatlah sampai kami suka."

Hmmm...senanglah cerita kalau dah ada calon tapi kalau tak ada calon dan nak macam mana ceritanya?

Lagipun sebenarnya saya ni sangatlah suka dengan kisah bercinta selepas kahwin. Mungkin susah tapi tidak ada yang mustahil. Saya merasakan lebih romantik kalau begitu kisahnya. Okay. Saya ni memang sangatlah suka percintaan selepas perkahwinan. Sebab rasionalnya mudah: Kalau bergaduh banyak cara nak pujuk. Tapi kalau bercouple? Hmmm...memang tidaklah kan. Sudahlah hubungan itu (pada saya) haram lepas tu kalau bergaduh bertambahlah masalah.

Banyak kali saya utarakan hal ini kepada naqibah saya tapi mungkin kerana kesibukan dan mungkin kerana dia menyangkakan saya ni bergurau, jadi perkara ini dibiarkan begitu sahaja. Saya pula, memanglah mahu tapi tak kanlah perlu menyatakannya acap kali. Saya pun jadi malu juga. Iyalah. Saya ni baru lagi di jalan dakwah. Masih menjadi orang bawahan. Masih newbie kalau nak dibanding dengan orang lain (walaupun saya yang paling tua). Jadi terasa segan untuk diutarakan berkali-kali. Sudah ramai yang menawar diri untuk menjadi telangkai (atau orang tengah) tapi entahlah, selepas beberapa ketika semuanya senyap sahaja...Saya lagilah. Tidak mungkinlah saya bertanyakan mereka "Bagaimana dengan bantuan itu?". Akhirnya semua senyap sahaja.

Jalan saya? Saya doa sahajalah kepada Dia sebab hanya kepadaNya saya mengadu. Namun begitu, saya manusia biasa yang lemah. Saya perlu berbicara dan mendengar bicara orang lain. Jadi mungkinlah Dia yang mengilhamkan saya untuk menulis post ini. Wallahualam...

Tapi kepada imam saya dunia dan akhirat, saya menanti kehadiran awak. <3

"Dan segala sesuatu Kami ciptakan berpasang-pasangan supaya kamu mengingati kebesaran Allah." [51:49]

p/s: btw, tajuk post ini sebenarnya nak kata: saya teringin nak dengar perkataan itu. Bukannya saya dah ada sesiapa... >_<

Kenapa, Mengapa...

Salam...

Alhamdulillah masih dikurniakan nikmat kehidupan oleh Allah s.w.t. di dunia ini. Alhamdulillah kerana masih sihat tubuh badan, masih mampu beribadah kepadaNya. Alhamdulillah kerana masih diberi kesempatan untuk meminta keampunan darinya. Alhamdulillah kerana masih ada apa yang kita ada hari ini.

Sudah lama tarbiyyah dan bulatan gembira ditinggalkan, semakin kering hati ini, makin tegar, makin sukar untuk mengingatNya. MasyaAllah...Astagfirullah...Harapnya perasaan ini akan pudar, akan hilang. Ya Allah, tetapkanlah hati ini dijalanMu, kuatkanlah hati ini untukMu, berilah kekuatan Hercules dan Superman agar jiwa ini tetap di sisiMu.

Di kala hati masih mencari sinar iman yang bercahaya bak suria yang gemilang, bergemerlapan laksana ribuan bintang di langitNya, kaki ini kadang2 lemah dan longlai menongkah arus ujianNya. Kadang kala, kekuatan yang dicari tidak dijumpai; dikaburi dengan keindahan dunia. Kadang-kadang, kekuatan yang diberiNya dilupakan kerana sibuknya dengan perkerjaan duniawi. Astagfirullah...kerdil dan lemahnya hambaMu.

Ya Allah, ampunkanlah kekhilafan hambaMu. Sungguh aku sebagai manusia sering melakukan kesilapan. Berulang kali bertatih menuju ke jalanNya, acap kali tersadung dan jatuh di jalan ini namun ya Allah, Kau peganglah hati ini agar sentiasa menjadi milikMu.

Sebenarnya, tadi melihat-lihat blog post yang lama dan terdetik di hati, mungkin ada yang membaca blog ini dan melihat entri-entri yang lepas yang masih berada di dalam blog ini dan tidak dibuang. Mungkin ada yang bertanya, masih banggakah dengan jahiliyyah yang lampau? Masih belum mahukah untuk melepaskannya pergi? Kenapa masih ada? Kenapa tidak dibuang?

MasyaAllah...kenapa dan mengapa ya? Hmmm...mungkin kerana perlu diberi peringatan berkali-kali bahawa itu adalah jahiliyyahku yang dahulu dan aku tidak bangga dengannya. Mungkin kerana aku perlu sentiasa melihat ke masa silamku dan berusaha agar tidak melakukan yang sama. Ianya kerana manusia mudah lupa, aku mudah lupa jadi aku perlu senantiasa diingatkan.

Namun bukanlah aku berkata di sini bahawa semua itu sesiapa yang masih berada di tempatku dahulu adalah tidak baik. Siapalah aku untuk menghakimi, siapalah aku untuk menuding jadi sedangkan aku masih lagi mencari-cari dan mencuba menggapai sinar Ilahi. Jadi tidaklah mungkin aku merasakan diriku sempurna dan sebaik yang lain. Tidaklah aku mampu berkata demikian. Aku masih lagi mencuba. Namun aku juga berharap semua yang aku sayangi akan mendapat apa yang aku dapat kerana aku tidak mahu sunyi, seorang di jalan ini. Memang, ramai lagi yang bersamaku namun, aku manusia biasa; sayangku padamu masih kuat. Aku masih memerlukanmu wahai sahabatku. Pimpinlah tanganku kerana akan aku genggam erat tanganmu di jalan ini. Aku masih menantimu sahabatku...kerana hati ini sayang, hati ini cinta akan kamu.

Jadi mengapa aku masih mencuba? Kenapa aku kisah? Jawapannya ialah kerana aku sayang, kerana aku cinta sama kamu. Kerana itu aku akan menunggu. Kerana itu aku masih mencuba.

Sayang kamu.

Aku Insan Biasa

Salam

Hmmm...pandai je procrastinate kan? Sepatutnya kena wat kerja sebab exam this Friday >_<
Okay...saya bersalah. Dah lama tak menulis apa2 di blog ni. Terasa macam nak menulis pulak hari ni. Tapi cuaca sangatlah glorious di luar. Alhamdulillah. Nikmat Allah tak putus2. Cantik sangat cuaca hari ini. Terasa macam nak keluar dan guling-guling atas rumput. MasyaAllah...hebatnya ciptaan Allah kan?

Sebelum jari pantas menulis, nak mintalah sesiapa yang sudi baca blog buruk ni untuk berterima kasih kepada Allah swt kerana masih menghidupkan kita pada hari ini, masih memberi nikmat Islam kepada kita, terima kasih kerana masih memberi kita peluang untuk menebus dosa kita pada Dia, terima kasih sebab kurniakan kita kesihatan, keluarga dan rakan2 tercinta, terima kasih atas breakfast yang kita makan atau bakal makan, terima kasih atas semua. Dan tanya diri...macam mana kita nak balas semua nikmat yang Allah kurniakan pada kita hari ini? Jeng3X

kita x maulah jadi macam orang yang mendustakan semua nikmatnya kan? hmmm.... tahu benda ni susah nak buat tapi why not hari ni kita cuba baca maksud surah Ar-Rahman (surah 55) yang menceritakan nikmat yang Allah kurniakan, nikmat alam, syurga dan neraka...yang manakah kita dustakan?

Hmm....aku bukanlah orang yang baik, alim ulamak ataupun siapa...aku masih mencari, masih cuba memperbaiki...perubahan tidak mengambil masa satu malam.aku bukanlah orang yang sekuat itu...tapi aku mencuba.

Seperti yang kukatakan, perubahan itu perlu dan perubahan itu pasti. Kita harus cuba berubah...sampai bila kita akan menjadi begini?

Tapi aku faham betapa susahnya perubahan itu...aku faham...kerana aku mengalaminya...tapi aku juga tahu yang aku perlu berubah dan aku harus melakukannya walaupun ianya susah. Kerana tiada satu pun yang senang di dunia ini.

hmmm...aku bukanlah ustazah ataupun orang yang hebat agamanya. Sekali lagi aku katakan yang aku masih cuba untuk berubah...tidak ada perubahan yang berlaku secara 180 darjah dengan tiba2. Perubahan itu perlukan masa tapi sekali lagi kita perlu berubah kerana kita tidak tahu masih adakah esok untuk kita...

Wallahualam~

Ukhwahfillah ♥

Salam

Bila rindu itu datang menyerang laksana tsunami di hati sepi
Tenggelam aku dalam kelam kabut dunia
Ya Allah, rinduku pada mereka...
Janganlah melebihi rinduku padaMu dan kekasihMu
Namun
Rinduku pada mereka
Kau sampaikanlah
Kerana sayangku kepada mereka
Merupakan ilhamMu dan kasih sayangMu pada manusia


Kamu sahabatku
Rinduku padamu menggunung tinggi
Harap kita bersahabat bukan hanya di dunia yang tak kekal abadi
Ku harap persahabatan ini
Sampai di syurga yang azali
Menggamit janji Allah yang pasti
Menjaga ukhrawi yang sejati
Menjadi insan berakhlak dan mepunyai iman yang tinggi

Sahabat,
Jika benar sayang kita
Jadi marilah kita bersama-sama mengorak langkah
Menggenggam cinta dan manisnya iman kepadaNya
Menuju syurga impian semua
Supaya sayang kita tidak hanya di dunia sementara
Tapi syurga yang selama-lamanya

Sahabat
Sayangku padamu bukan sayang dunia
Sayangku padamu sayang bauan syurga
Jadi aku tidak mahu kita hanya sampai di sini sahaja
Kerana aku mahu juga menjadi temanmu di akhirat sana

Sahabatku sayang
Jika benar kira sayang
Sayangilah aku kerana sayangmu padaNya
Kerana aku tatkala ini menyayangimu sebagaimana aku cinta kepadaNya

Ya Allah
Semoga persahabatan yang Engkau kurniakan
Kau pelihara dan bawalah ke syurga janjianMu

Ukwahfillah abadan abada semua

P/S: A'an, Tinie, Ain, semua di Malaysia...saya sayang dan rindu kamu. ♥ ♥ ♥

Perubahan?

Assalamualaikum

Hari ini aku ingin bercakap mengenai perubahan. Perubahan... Ramai yang kukira sudah menyedari perubahan diriku sejak akhir-akhir ini. Padaku aku berharap kalian semua dapat menerima diriku yang mungkin 'baru' bagimu. 

Soalan yang kukira mungkin pernah terlintas di benakmu adalah: "Mengapa aku berubah?" 

Hmmm...bagaimana harusku menjawab soalan itu? Mengapa aku berubah memilih untuk mendekatkan dan mengenaliNya? Tapi pada fikiranku, mengapa tidak berubah untukNya?

Namun harus kukatakan di sini, aku tidaklah mempunyai kekuatan dari segi penulisan, jadi aku harapkan Allah swt memegang hati anda dan membukanya ketika membaca ceritaku (insyaAllah).

Ceritanya begini. Dahulu, aku kira aku adalah seorang yang agak keras dan sentiasa ingin menang. Aku punya segala-galanya yang kuinginkan; keluarga yang ku sayangi, sahabat yang kucintai, belajar di negara orang yang sudah lama kuhajati, memegang jawatan dalam kelab yang kuingini. Namun aku sentiasa merasakan bahawa hatiku kosong tanpa seri. Sering aku memikirkan kenapa aku berada di bumi. Pada masa ini, kukira aku masih lagi jahil. Disebabkan aku sentiasa terasa kosong walaupun aku dikelilingi para sahabat yang sayang dan cintakanNya di bumi Wellington, jadi, aku berusaha untuk mencari jawapan kepada soalanku. Aku juga pada masa itu kukira bodoh sombong kerana terlalu malu bertanya jawapan kepada orang-orang yang lebih faham Islam daripadaku. Sombongku kerana aku lebih tua, jadi maluku menebal dan egoku melarang aku dari bertanya. Namun fitrah manusia yang sentiasa ingin mencintai dan beribadah kepadaNya lebih kuat.Jadi aku memilih untuk memohon kepadaNya agar aku diberikan petunjuk ke jalanNya, agar hatiku dibuka untuk menerimaNya secara total. Meminta doa kepadaNya kukira lagi senang kerana urusan itu hanyalah antara Dia dan aku. Aku senantiasa meminta agar hatiku dilembutkan agar senang ditarbiyah oleh orang yang lebih memahami. 

Pada masa itu, hatiku masih berbelah bahagi, berbolak balik antara jahiliyyah dan yang benar. Di saat hati masih memilih, aku kuatkan hati untuk mencari hala tuju hidupku dengan pergi ke Dunedin. Aku memohon denganNya agar ditunjukkan dan lembutkan hatiku semasa aku berada di sana. Alhamdulillah, Allah swt Maha Kuasa. Hatiku disentuhNya dan pulangnya aku ke Wellington membawa semangat dan azam yang baru. Namun...

Malu ku katakan, walaupun hatiku disentuh Allah swt semasa berada di sana, pulangnya aku ke Wellington; keadaanku masih sama. Mungkin saat di mana aku terasa kosongnya dunia tanpaNya adalah di mana pada suatu hati, aku membuka Facebook, membaca emailku dan menghabiskan masa berjam-jam di depan Tumblr serta melihat dan me'refresh' website kumpulan (yang pernah menjadi) kesayanganku dan tiba-tiba hatiku terdetik...

"Adakah aku menjadi hamba kepada dunia?" hingga terburu-buru pulang, menghabiskan masa di hadapan perkara yang tidak pasti, yang tidak membawa ke mana-mana...yang melalaikan.

Maksud hamba padaku pada masa ini adalah di mana hatiku tidak tenang selagi tidak membuat semua ini, merasakan sedih pada perkara yang tidak berfaedah sedangkan patutnya aku lagi sedih dengan keadaanku yang TAHU Islam tetapi tidak MEMAHAMInya... Bukankah kita hamba kepada perkara-perkara melalaikan sehinggakan kita tidak senang duduk tanpa membuatnya? Mengapa kita menghambakan diri pada perkara yang tidak pasti sedangkan janji Allah swt itu merupakan janji yang sejati?

Pernahkan di suatu masa anda terbangun dan tersedar lantas terfikir; "Apakah tujuan aku hidup di dunia?"

Tanyalah iman mengapa kita berada di dunia. Namun jawapannya anda boleh jumpa dalam al-Quran

"Dan (ingatlah) Aku tidak menciptakan jin dan manusia melainkan untuk mereka menyembah dan beribadat kepadaKu" [51: 56]

"Dan (ingatlah) ketika Tuhanmu berfirman kepada malaikat: Sesungguhnya Aku hendak menjadikan seorang khalifah di bumi. Mereka bertanya: Adakah Engkau hdendak menjadikan di bumi itu orang yang akan membuat bencana dan menumpahkan darah, padahal kami sentiasa bertasbih dengan memujiMu dan mensucikanMu? Tuhan berfirman: Sesungguhnya Aku mengetahui akan apa yang kamu tidak mengetahuinya." [2: 30]

Di sini, jelas Allah swt menyatakan bahawa tugas kita di dunia ada dua iaitu beribadah dan menjadi khalifah. Allah swt mengangkat darjat kita lebih tinggi dari malaikat dalam surah al-Baqarah ayat 30 di atas di mana kita manusia yang ada nafsu namun disayangi Allah swt lebih dari malaikat yang sentiasa mengagungkanNya. Jadi tidak malukah kita melalai dan melupakanNya sehingga hanyut dalam dunia yang kosong; ibarat robot tanpa nyawa.

Aku tidak mahu menjadi robot kawalan nafsu, aku ingin menjadi khalifah pilihanNya supaya aku boleh menyenangkan hati Penciptaku yang menciptakan ibu-bapa dan orang yang kusayangi. Jadi padaku, perubahan aku hanyalah kerana aku sekarang lebih faham (insyaAllah) apa yang Allah swt inginkan dariku.

Perubahanku perubahan biasa. Aku masih insan yang sama, namun pemakaianku atau buah fikiranku mahupun minatku mungkin tidak serupa. Jadi jika kamu sayangkanku, terimalah aku yang baru kerana hatiku masih menyayangi kamu. Usahlah kamu ragu atau curiga mahupun takut akan perubahan aku. Terang kukatakan, perubahan aku masih lagi perlahan; aku masih menapak menahan godaan jahiliyyahku. Jadi aku masih bertatih, masih memegang tangan dan masih perlukan bimbingan dan kalian merupakan tongkatku agar semangatku tidak luntur.

Perubahan itu perlu dan perubahan itu pasti. Namun berubahlah untuk mencari redha Ilahi, bukan mencari kersonokan duniawi. InsyaAllah jika perubahan itu untukNya, hati kita akan lebih berseri.

Sayangkan kamu kerana Allah swt

Lets Play 10 Things: Day 10 Final

10 final words from me:

You must LOVE yourself first before you start loving others

Lets Play 10 Things: Day 9 Challenge

10 ways to win my heart:

• win my parents' and my siblings' heart first. I hate it if my parents don't like my man
• someone who can just go to my parents and say, "May I have your daughter's hand in marriage?" first before proposing to me. If someone do that, I will say yes (if my parents said yes) immediately no matter who they are cause only courageous and sincere man can do that. And by doing that, he will prove to me that he really wanted me and needed me in his life. 
• I am a sucker for beautiful eyes... Well, people couldn't possibly have eyes like him but that eyes just take my heart away everytime I see it.

Jensen Ackles eyes

• someone who is not fake or a liar or have any traits of the thing that I hate (see this)
• someone who love Allah s.w.t and Rasulullah s.a.w (my heart is yours because your heart is with THEM)
• play with babies and love them and you will catch my eyes anytime
• be sincere, humble and modest to me. do not boast, be arrogant and think that you own the world or I will be like "Talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening okay?"
• I love surprises so surprise me (in a good way)
• sometimes I find myself liking shy man...dunno...maybe cause when he is blushing, I find that as cute and sweet
• don't act all too tough and manly. I like to know that my man is not a robot but human with feelings and emotions. So cry if you have to, smile to your liking, laugh if it is funny, be adorkable cause you will be adorable but most importantly, be yourself. I love Yunho but you don't have to be him to be mine ^^

Lets Play 10 Things: Day 8 Challenge

10 Favourite Songs:

• Rahsia Pohon Cemara - Exists (my most favourite song and I don't know why...maybe cause the song sounded innocent but full of love? or maybe because I was still quite innocent when I fall in love with this song...dunno)
• Mengintai Dari Tirai Kamar - Exists 
• Seperti Dulu - Exists
• Dendam Dalam Diam - Nora
• Baby Can I Hold You - Boyzone
• Blind - Lifehouse
• God Must Have Spend (A Little More Time) - NSYNC
• Doushite - TV5Q
• Proud - DB5K
• "O" - DB5K

Lets Play 10 Things: Day 7 Challenge

10 (most) important people in my life: (again...not in order cause I hate to rank them)

• Mum
• Dad
• Siblings (if I need to list them all, then all 8 spots will be taken by my family members)
• A'an
• Hema
• my friends (you guys are not less important than Hema or A'an and you all should know that I love you just the same but you know...)
• my relatives and my cousins
• Irfan
• my (future) husband (wherever/whoever you are now but one day you will be important to me) [mcm nak kawen dah kan ak ni? aiyooo.controversy...hahahaha...don't think of weird things okay guys? I am just saying that in the future, this person will be a part of me...in the FUTURE)
• DB5K/TV5Q

P/S: Don't speculate. No, I don't have anybody special cause all listed above are very special to me but yes, who wouldn't want someone and to be special to somebody eh? 

Lets Play 10 Things: Day 6 Challenge

10 things/people I can't live without:

• Allah s.w.t
• Rasulullah s.a.w
• My families (I am nothing without them)
• My friends
• My mp3 (it is my best friend here)
• basic needs such as clothes, food, money, house, love
• perfumes
• eyeliner
• handphone
• lip balm/gloss

Lets Play 10 Things: Day 5 Challenge

10 wishes:

• I wish that I will have all TV5K/DB5K merchandises and albums
• I wish that my families and friends will forever be loved and cared for
• I wish for a husband that love Allah s.w.t and Rasulullah s.a.w but love me because he love THEM
• I wish that I will have a beautiful and loving future ahead of me
• I wish that I will always be happy, loved and remembered by those who love me
• I wish that I will be able to be in Heaven and see Rasulullah s.a.w, his members and families and MY families in jannah too
• I wish that I can stop sighing and able to accept things as they are because HE knows what is best for me
• I wish that my iman will be stronger and not falter at any time
• I wish for Palestine to be free and Islam will be the reigning power in the world
• I wish that all my wishes come true

Lets Play 10 Things: Day 4 Challenge

10 things I wanted to say to a person:

• I still love you and I hate myself for still loving and remembering you
• Honestly, I wanted to see you again
• I keep on looking for your profile but I guess that you have changed everything about yourself and I hate myself for still wishing to know and find out about you.
• I know that there will never be anything between us but still, we will always have something.
• We have our friendship but I guess I freaked you out too much for you to not8ice and love our friendship.
• You are a jerk cause you never care and you are selfish; always thinking about yourself but never about mine.
• However, I really wish that I can see you again but when that time comes, I want to be able to stand strong and proud.
• Strong and proud because although I still love you, I am able to get on with life, enjoy it and live it.
• Although I still miss you, but deep inside, I know that you don't cause you don't even care about me. 
• So I will just keep this feeling in my heart forever but I know and hate myself for still caring for you.

Lets Play 10 Things: Day 3 Challenge

10 things that I hate: about you (in random order)

• Lies
• Liar
• Betrayal
• Annoying people (such as impatient/nosy people)
• People that keeps on hammering on my door. Just knock a few times, do not hammer on my door okay? It is not like I can't hear you or anything...
• People that think that they are cleverer/smarter/more beautiful or handsome than other people
• Beautiful/thin/smart people that keeps on saying 'but I am not beautiful/thin/smart' when they are. It just annoys me a lot. Esp when you keep on claiming or telling people that they have many followers/admirers/high scores.
• anti KPop or any antis. (You don't know what you are saying so just shut up okay?)
• People that hurt the feeling of my loved ones (esp my parents):  You can't/don't mess with my families okay?
• People who thinks that they know me better than myself (but if they are my families or my my closed/beloved friends, it is okay)

Let's Play 10 Things: Day 2 Challenge

10 things I love (not in orders):

My beloved family

VIP in my life; my mum & dad

• Allah s.w.t
• Rasulullah s.a.w
• My families (mak, abah, Along, Angah, Adam, Cik Siti, Kakak, Arif, uncles, aunties, grandparents, cousins, and others)
• my friends
• myself
• chocolates
• my gadgets (my externals, my laptop, my handphone, my iPod touch, my mp3)
• money? hehe
• cute things
• DB5K/TV5Q

A'an, Kakak & Me

My Irfan

DB5K/TV5Q - AKTF red pearl ocean

Kakak ^^

Sleepy Irfan

A'an n Me

 will add more pictures later

Happy Father's Day

salam
Ok
Spttnya hari ni kena update 10 things nya game tapi kira kali ni ada dua post la k?

Selamat Hari Abah kepada Encik Sulaiman bin Darus.

Sebenarnya tak tahu apa nak cakap kat abah sbb kita jarang bercakap, kalau cakap pun cakap sal akademik ja...kita x pernah ckp pasal perasaan, emosi atau benda yang personal. Tapi x apalah, Ain tahu abah bukan orang yang senang nak bercakap pasal hal macam ni.

Ain ingat lagi, dulu masa kecik2 Ain slalu harap abah bukan abah Ain sebab abah orang lain slalu nampak cool dan senang diajak berbicara, bukan macam abah. Dulu, selalu Ain doa abah bukan abah Ain sbb abah jarang tunjukkan kasih sayang kat Ain. Tapi bila dah besar, baru Ain nampak, abah tunjukkan kasih sayang abah dengan cara yang lain. Sayang abah adalah d masa abah sanggup bangun seawal 4 pagi untuk ambil Ain d RnR Gurun setiap kali Ain balik dari Kuantan. Abah sanggup tunggu sampai pukul 10-11 malam untuk hantar Ain balik Kuantan. Abah sanggup drive jauh2 untuk hantar Ain, ambil Ain. Masa tu baru Ain tahu abah tunjukkan kasih sayang abah macam ni...Masa tu baru Ain sedar yang Ain bertuah ada abah sebagai abah Ain.

Ain sangat gembira masa kami bioleh peluk abah sbb dulu2 takut nak peluk abah...sbb kita x biasa...tapi perubahan sejak akhir2 ni buat Ain gembira. Ain harap kita akan lebih rapat nanti. Amin. Ain sayang abah.

To my one and only dad in the world, I Love You.

Let's Play 10 Things: Day 1 Challenge

Salam...
dah lama x update blog...ada benda nak update tapi asyik lupa ja... ><
Ok lah...sbb Cik Tini Mynie dah ajak, jadi ak pun main jugaklah benda ni...

10 Things about myself.

• My name is Nur Farahin Sulaiman
• I am the third daughters of the family of nine (including me and my parents)
• I love people to call me Farah not because that is a famous name but I just like the meaning of it which is 'happy' in Arab. 
• My families (including uncles/aunties/etc) call me Ain at home.
• I love spicy foods. If there is nothing spicy, I can just simply eat 'cili padi' with rice.
• I love babies because I think that they are the purest, most lovable creature on the planet and may be in the whole universe. They are heavenly in a sense because they are so serene and so cute.
• I am a sucker for cheesy lines and very sappy, romantic, lame lines but I guess that we all are because although I love you is very cheesy and lame but we all still love to hear it.
• I love to read books (any kind of books except textbook/ horror books), manga and other kinds of readings.
• I love to watch movies/drama/cartoon/anime and others and I do not care of the genre as long as it is good and can be enjoyed.
• For me, my families and friends are my life. I love and hate them but I can't be without them. 

darn...I still have many things to add...hahahaha...okay.one last thing, I hate to be alone.

Okay. Day 1 challenge is completed. See you in Day 2 post.

Pakai cantik2

Salam

Terbaik...sptutnya kena stdy sbb test dah dekat tapi haremmm...aish~pa la nak jadi Farah oii...X pe la...wpun akan menyesal nanti but x mo kira skrg. >< (jgn ikut perangai ni ok?)

Sejak dua menjak ni org Wellington mungkin perasan yang ak macam melaram gla dengan make-up smua...ke x da orang perasan dan ak ja yang perasan sorang2? haha...apa2 la. well, ada jugak la yang tegur ak mcm melawa gla sejak dua menjak ni dan smua suspek ak ada someone special...

Kalau la betul sangkaan smua kan????hahaha. (gatai lak kan?) x ada la...spa nak kat ak ni? dah r x lawa, hot ja lebih cam Gloria...garang lak 2...gelak x ingat dunia...pandai pun x kan...but I know that and I am cool with all that. I mean, that is me and me alone. I am loved and being hated by that tapi ramai yg sayang so biar ja la. Jodoh 2 ada d mana2 kan? Entah2 depan mata ja kan? (depan mata ak skrg ada gambar Yunho...adakah???hahahahahaha) Ok. dah melalut...

Kalau orang melawa ja kata nak dating...adesss...apakah assumption ini? Ya ak nak dating. Dating dengan diri sendiri. X boleh? You jelly I dating dengan diri I sendiri? *dengan suara gedik tahap maksima* hahahaha

Ak nak melawa utk diri sndiri. Salahkah? Mungkin akan ada yang kata, alah...nak p kelas ja. Buat pa lebih2? Well, suka ati la kan? Kita manusia mmg suka melawa apa? Fitrah manusia sukakan benda cantik. So biar la ak nak melaram sat...x boleh ka? Ak bunuh org ka dengan melaram2 cam ni? X kan? (eh, ada ka?) Ak nak melawa sbb ak nak sayang diri ak sendiri...apa salahnya nak diri sndiri rasa cantik. Ok.mungkin ada yang kata, nak p kelas ja, x yah la makeup gla2. org lain pun x pakai cam 2...tapi ko x rasa ko pun melawa jugak ke bila ko pilih baju nak ke kelas? ko pun pakai aksesori gak kan? Tapi ak x minat aksesori dan baju ak x da la vogue-de-vass cam ko, jadi ak opt for makeup. Apa? Ko jelly ak makeup banyak2? At least x da la ak makeup cam org d Lorong Haji Taib...ak makeup basic2 ja. Smokey eyes kalau gedik...2 ja pun...chill r beb. Plus...bukan all time ak pakai cam ni...Paling byk ak pakai eyeliner sbb ak gla eyeliner...2 ja...so lepak k?

So ak x da sesiapa yang special. well, maybe ada tapi ak x kenal dan x tahu nama dia.hoho. Sila la bagitau smua yg saya x da yg special g k? hahahah.gurau ja. tpi agak siyes r n nak tekankan, di sini, ak makeup 4 myself. 4 my own entertainment. x for others. x da masa utk org len weyh... ok...ciao.

Where were you when I needed you the most?

Salam

Hi...

Hoyeeeh...This entry might and will sound emo-like.

Gosh~ I am emo almost all the time eh? But that is what it takes to be human. One time you are up, the other time you are down...

I have many therapies that I use when I am feeling down. One of it is swimming but I didn't go swimming today. Why? Well, sometimes even your best therapy will not work for you if you are just not in the mood to do it.

So I tried another therapy. It is shopping therapy. This is a dangerous therapy cause well, it is expensive and you will end up regretting splurging that much money in one go. But at that time, you will console yourself cause yes, you are using what you buy and there is no harm to that (except for your pocket). What did I buy today? Well, I bought a pair of boots (been meaning to buy one since forever but I kinda almost regret buying that type cause the heels are very high and it doesn't feel suitable to climb up the hill everyday. But oh well, it is beautiful and since the people here are tall, that freakishly high boot, in my opinion, will look almost unnoticeable here.hehe).  and I bought rings and others that costs NZD51. Surprised much? I know I am but well, it is not like everyday I buy that sort of thing. hehe. But I like what I bought just now and my therapy work. Not only I ended up feeling happy again, but I am all sweaty due to the walk and walking back wearing that high heel require lots of concentration and yes, it is tiring to balance yourself. So, it is 1+1. I am happy and I am healthier.hehe

Oh ...what I am telling you now doesn't fit the title of the post eh? That title is the reason why I am depressed in the 1st place. You see, I am a very fragile person (though I might look tough on the exterior but interior-ly I am very insecure and yes, fragile). Today, I was called in for an EXTRA extra tutorial for Linguistic paper that I am taking. Now, that is shocking to me because yes, I am not that smart and all but so far, I didn't get any C in that paper. Not yet anyway. So being called in for that session depresses me a lot. My grade was improving and yes, we didn't get the latest assignment back but hell, it cannot be that I fail that paper right? Plus, the only assignment that I got C in was another paper, not this one. So what is the reason? It makes me feel like I have been getting a C since the 1st assignment which I am not.

I know, very optimistic person (I hate this kind of people...your over-positiveness is killing and suffocating me) will say that this is a good opportunity to actually gain some insight, some knowledge to better improve the future assignment and bloody bloody bla....but hey. I am not that optimistic okay? It makes me feel very low, my self esteem just went right of the window and I am very VERY UNHAPPY. Call me in for another subject, I don't mind but seriously? Being called in for a paper that I am so far struggling but doing quite okay in it is a bit too much. and it is not helpful when you really don't have the mood to do it cause your mental keep on chanting to you "Babo, babo, babo" (just in case you are wondering what the heck was "babo". It is romaji for Korean for stupid - although it is mainly used in a friendly way but then again, stupid is stupid.)

Okay. That is one thing about being depressed that I am in that class. Another is of course, stupid, small thing with friend that will sometimes bug you a lot. I don't need to talk about that anyway.

Okay...but at least I am happy now.

Things that annoy me...(just me,maybe not others)

Salam...

Hi.

This is basically a ranting post. So don't like don't read.

1st annoying thing: Blog (Me, My, Mine)


Why I write blog? To be famous? To be known (yes it is similar but not in the same context)? To show people who I am and how 'great' my writing is? (well, I know that I am not good at all...) So why I bother blogging? Lets just say that it is for my sanity and so that I can let go and write what is on my mind...Isn't that the purpose for blogging? If you hate me, why you even bother following my blog? I didn't force you to...so why bother?

That is one of the thing that annoys me to no end...I am not someone that seeks for popularity so this is definitely not the reason for me to blog. But it really gets to me when people say that do not use this line like "this is my blog, don't like don't read" or "this is my blog. I can write whatever I want". Isn't that correct? The line I mean... This IS MY blog...MY personal things and thoughts so I have ALL the rights to write whatever I want. So if you hate me for saying that, stop following me. Do I care if you stop? I know I don't. Stop following me. It is annoying to hear you say that (talking to people who think that they've said/written that I should stop using that line).

2nd annoying thing: If the door is locked, it means that somebody is in that room

Does that need telling? God~ If you tried to open any door and it is locked and you can't open it, it means that SOMEBODY IS USING IT. duuuh~ Do I need to yell that I am in that room? Do I????? It is a common sense people. Door will not be automatically locked. This is not the hotel where it is automatically closed like that. I don't know that the bathroom door is 'automatically locked' in this house. If YOU cant OPEN it, give up and wait for a while. THERE IS SOMEBODY in it. So wait...Don't go knocking and ask

"Is anybody inside?"

It makes me wanna say,

"No. The door is automatically locked and the shower and the light turns on automatically when NOBODY is inside."

Duh~

3rd annoying thing: Knocking non-stop

For the love of God. If people do that, it will drive me insane. No, it is no just annoying, it is driving people mad. Can't you just knock for like 3,4 times and wait for a while cause, oh, I dunno...maybe that person is ON the WAY to open the door. So WAIT...It is not like you will die for waiting.

You can knock like that if, let say maybe somebody is chasing you and about to kill you with 7 inch knife or something like that. Or you wanna pee so much it might spill there and then. But to knock just to let others open it for you asap? That is seriously fucking with me and trust me, I will kill you for that (with my look).

4th annoying thing: Talking and advising me like you know me that much

Like seriously? Are you kidding me? Who are you? You are just A FRIEND. You don't know me that much okay? Even my parents don't know me that much. I know myself better than you. It is not like you are my best friend that is like my other half. You are just someone that happens to know me a bit. So stop acting like you know me inside out k? You are not my brain or emotion and you are definitely not me. So just stop.

5th annoying thing: Waking me up to ask if I am sleeping

Hell to the no. You will receive my dagger look if you do that. I mean, what the hell are you trying to achieve/do when you look at my comfortably sleeping face and asked me,

"are you sleeping?"

well, if that happens, I just wanna quote something from tumblr in this situation.

"No, I am not sleeping. I am practicing to play dead."

God...are you that thick headed?

6th annoying thing: Disturbing me when I am watching my fav video/movies/ the most important scene/ climax

Do I need to tell you that it is helluva annoying? Why? Do I need to explain why? ughhh~

7th annoying thing: saying that I shouldn't procrastinate when my assignment is due in another 2 hours

Really? Do you need to throw that to my face now? If my hand is not busy to type furiously, I would've strangle you for sure. So why don't you be a good person and backs off or HELP in that situation instead of saying "You deserve it". Believe it, I KNOW THAT ALREADY.

8th annoying thing: telling me that I shouldn't eat my favourite food and acting as if you are my dietician. 

I really feel like punching people who said that. I mean, who are you? If you wanna be health freak, then go ahead and be one. Leave me out from that obsession of yours. I am not interested okay.

It is annoying okay when I am about to eat my chocolate and you go all wise and say:

"You know that chocolate can make you fat and it will rot your teeth?"

and I will say (in my brain but not by my mouth)

"Yeah? Well fcuk you. May you rot too"

9th annoying thing: Calling me fat and saying that I shouldn't wear this and that cause it will makes me look fatter

Well, thank you for telling me about the obvious. If you offer your opinion nicely, then I will appreciate that. But no, you have to go all the way and say this instead,

"That is such a small size. Aren't you bigger than that? Shouldn't you give that size to me instead? Why don't we switch cause I am smaller than you."

and then you have to repeat that again and again to my face.

Well, thank you for downgrading me. It feels much better when you say it. Thank you....you jerk.

10th annoying thing: Saying that I spend too many time downloading and gathering movies but...you ended up asking for new movies from me

Isn't that just great?

What my heart wants to say...

Salam...

Hi.

This is a post that might not make sense at all.

My heart is scarred, it is wounded and I am amazed that I can still live up until today. Sometimes, I am afraid to be close with someone, to have expectations, to care...but I always ends up doing all of that even though I know that I will be hurt in the end...Life is a bitch sometimes but when you have people that love you, that care for you, all the hatred and suffering in the world won't matter. But when you lose that connection with the one that you love and you are here, almost 8906.8km away from home and you have nobody to turn to, suddenly, everything matters...especially when things got bad and you find yourself being alone, having a life only through internet and that is when that one connection became extremely important to you.

I wish I can simply pull them out from pictures and hug them tightly so that this feeling will just go away...I wish that pictures can move and Harry Potter is real but life does not work that way....and it sucks. Damn it...god.my heart hurts a lot now.

Loneliness does not suit me to the tee...I can't be alone or feel like I am alone. Yes, I know, Allah is always with us but having to see one people that care about you will be great. Cause I need that love and affection now.

I know that I never seemed lonely cause I will always be around friends but that's it...they are friends...they are not best friends. they don't care about you as much as your best friends. cause they are just friend. and friend is nor the same as best friend.

If I can apparate, then I will be home in a heartbeat. I miss you

Sejuk sejuk sejuk

Salam

*this is a random post with random sentences. I am writing whatever that pops in my head now in non-sequential order* 

Oh Wellington. Why are you so COLD? This is autumn...not winter. aah~ I pity my parents that will have to face the brutal wind of Wellington plus this horrible horrible weather now...I am shivering from head to toe. Now, I spend more and more time in shower cause it is hot in there. At least the water is warm...I feel like not coming out from the shower now. Can I just stay under water instead?><

Typing is also a hazard now because my hand is numb and I can't feel a thing. Luckily I can still feel this keyboard but my phone is a touch screen phone and I find myself typing nonsensical thing cause I can't feel my finger moving. Bad? yeah....you tell me...

Weather is not good at all now...For the past few days, there is no mercy for Wellington. The wind feels like hell (in cold manner). Of course Wellington is nicknamed as Windy Welly but the weather now is just crazy.

Went to Queensgate the other day. God...It reminds me of Malaysia..well not all but it is okay. The shopping mall looks like Malaysia but is is kinda like a bit loser cause the shops/outlets closes at 6pm. It is 6pm for god's sake. At Malaysia, 6pm is when you are getting ready to shop, not going back already. But this is Wellington so what to do eh? ><

Okay...it is freaking cold. So gonna sleep now...

Cerita Cinta

Salam...

Hi...

Ceewah...tajuk cam gempak kan? hahahaha...x da maknanya weyh. Ak ni x pernah bercinta. X percaya? X kisahlah kalau percaya atau pun x. Tapi ak mmg x pernah bercinta penuh2 cinta. Kalau cinta monyet ka, cinta baboon ka...mungkin ada kot. Tapi ak rasa 2 bukan cinta, 2 mungkin yang mat salleh panggil sebagai 'crush' saja dan x de la bertahan lebih dari 3 bulan.hoho.sbbnya?panjang sbbnya...haha.yang tu nanti2lah cerita...

Dalam hidup ak, ak banyak suka kat orang yang x pernah dan xkan suka kat ak. Ak sedar, ak ni x lawa, badan pun hot cam Gloria dari Madagascar ja, jadi mungkin sebab 2 orang yang ak suka x pernah suka kat ak macam ak suka kat dia. Don't get me wrong. Ak suka badan ak. Ak x mau diet semata2 nak orang puji badan ak hot sbb pada ak, baik la kalau future suami ak ja yang puji cam 2 dari org lain kata cam 2. Ak suka diri ak sbb baik buruk ak, keluarga ak dan sahabat baik ak akan tetap sayang kat ak. Jadi ak tahu ak bertuah...

Jadi kenapa tajuk blog kali ni cerita cinta? hmmm...sbb ak x da cerita cinta yang ak boleh tulis kan? Tapi salah 2...dalam hidup ak banyak cinta yang ak boleh kongsikan...

Cinta pertama: Allah s.w.t & Rasulullah s.a.w
Yang ni cinta pertama yang smua wajib ada dalam diri sendiri. Iyalah...xkan x cinta kepada pencipta kita? dan xkanlah pula tidak jatuh cinta kepada kekasihNya? Mestilah cinta kan? Ak harap cinta ak pada kedua2 ni semakin marak nanti. Amin...

Cinta kedua: Keluarga
Cintaku x akan lengkap tanpa mereka. Ak berterima kasih pada Allah s.w.t kerana mengurniakan mereka kepadaku...Merekalah cintaku yang terbesar. Kalau cerita Indon (sinetron) 2 ada Cinta Terbagi Lima, pada ak, cintaku terbagi lapan kerana aku dikurniakan keluarga yang besar. Mak, abah, along, angah, Adam, Cik Siti, Kakak dan Arif dan cintaku makin berkembang dengan kehadiran kedua abang iparku dan budak botak yang gemuk; Aidil Irfan (anak saudara pertama keluarga). Aku sayang smua insan ini dalam hidupku. Kami satu keluarga memang suka sangat bergaduh....(dah namanya pun adik beradik kan?)

Ak ingat lagi bergaduh dengan Arif (adik bongsu ak) untuk hantar dia ke tadika (sebab ak sekolah petang) setiap pagi. Bayangkan, setiap pagi kami bergaduh, ber'wrestling' sbb nak hantar dia ke tadika. Aku akan heret dia bangun pagi sbb Arif liat nak bangun pagi dan kami akan menjerit, bercakar, bertendang dan macam2 lagi sebelum dia bersiap ke sekolah. Jahat gla ak dulu2....haha...adess...Ingat lagi dulu baju tidur ak x ada yang selamat sbb Arif akan tarik sampai terkoyak, tangan ak habis bercalar dan lebam2 digigit dan dicakar Arif. Ak x salahkan dia sebab ak yang buat dia marah masa 2...Rindunya zaman 2....

Tapi sayang dan cintanya ak pada adik bongsu (yang ak x mo ngaku dia ni comel sbb nanti dia perasan) mmg ak paling rasa masa ak Form 1 (umur 13 tahun). Ak sayang dia...ak ngaku tapi susah pada ak nak tunjuk. (kakak kan ego?haha). Terbukti yang aku ni mmg sayang (spe x sayang darah sendiri weyh?kejam sangat 2) adik ak ni bila suatu hari dia x balik dari tadika. Ak sangatlah panik. Masa 2 dah pukul 12 lebih sedangkan tadika dia abes pukul 11 pagi. Masa tu ak x amek dia sbb dia slalu kata dia boleh balik sndiri dan dia x suka ak amek dia lambat, jadi pada hari 2 ak mmg x amek dia. Bila jam dah pukul 12 lebih, ak dah x sedap hati. Sbbnya di jalan nak ke tadika dia, banyak semak belukar, jlannya kecik dan sunyi. Mmg dekat dgn kawasan kampung berdekatan tapi jalan 2 agak sunyi dan ada satu rumah terbiar yang jadi sarang penagih dadah d situ. Ak pun x tahu kenapa hari tu ak biarkan saja adik kta dia nak balik sendiri. Paniknya ak pada masa 2, hanya Allah yang tahu. Ak jalan kaki pergi ke sekolah dia dan rasa nak nangis bila cikgu dia kata dia dah lama balik. Sepanjang jalan ak check kiri kanan takut2 ada yang x kena. Balik rumah, mata dah merah. Nangis cam orang gla dah sbb panik sangat. Hati dah fikir bukan2 dan otak dah fikir camna nak bagitahu mak yang adik dah hilang. Call member mintak tolong dia check skali lagi just in case terjumpa. Mmg masa 2 menangis teruk gle. Masa jari ak nak mendail nombor polis, tiba2 pintu rumah dibuka dan ada suara yang kata,

"Adik dah balik."

Ak terus bangun, pergi dekat adik dan...tampar dia. Kenapa ak tampar dia? Sbb ak takut sgt...mmg x rasional ak tmpar dia tapi itu adalah reaksi ak...Adik? Dia memang terkejut...Sebab lepas ak tampar dia, ak peluk, menangis dan tanya dia pergi mana dan menangis lagi. Tahu apa adik buat lepas 2? Dia ketawa berdekah2 dekat ak...Tapi ak dah x peduli sbb dia dah selamat. Nak tahu dia pergi mana? Dia pergi ke rumah kawannya yang ada dekat dengan tadika sbb kawannya ada buat majlis hari lahir...aish~luruh jantung ak dengar...Lepas tu ak pun pergi ke sekolah. Balik dari sekolah, sebaik saja dia nampak muka ak, terus dia berlari masuk dalam rumah smbil kata,

"Makkk...tahu x tadi kan...Kak Ain tampar adik dan menangis," dan terkeluarlah semua cerita...Adesss

Dan mak kata kat adik,

"Kak Ain tampar adik sbb dia sayang la tu..." dan adik masih lagi ketawa. Rasa nak cubit ja dia masa 2...tapi betul, ak tampar dia sebab ak sayang...

Ak juga masih ingat lagi ak pada cubitan bisa Angah bila dia marah atau tumbuk belasah Along masa kami kecik2. Angah x boleh lawan ak sebab macam yang ak cakap di awal cerita, ak ni hot macam Gloria, tapi Angah kecik macam kerengga. Cubitnya berbisa tapi tendangan ak lagi terasa. Kelakar masa 2...Selalunya masa tidurlah kami ak mula bertendang dan bercubit. Biasalah...ak ni tidurnya gasak (lasak)... jadi Angah akan cubit ak masa ak 'cross' kawasan dia tidur. Uissh...Angah bila cubit, x lepas. Dia akan cubit smpai keluar kulit. Jadi apa lagi, tendangan demi tendangan akan ak lepaskan sehingga Angah mengalah dan menangis sendiri...Jahat kan ak?haha

Tapi yang ak paling ingat adalah cerita ak bersama Along dan Angah dikejar Adam yang tengah mengamuk. Kami bertiga seronok sangat mengusik dan Adam yang sudah tak tahan diusik (sehingga menangis2 diusik kakak2nya) tiba2 ternampak parang yang kebetulan ada d depan rumah. Apa lagi, masa itu, terus saja Adam capai parang itu dan jerit,

"Aku nak bunuh hampa semua!"

nak dipendekkan cerita, ak, Along dan Angah penat berlari pusing kawasan perumahan kami untuk mengelak diparang oleh adik sebab usikan terlampau. Yang hebat 2, takut punya pasal, kami boleh mengalahkan Adam yang juara pecut sekolah...haha.Putih tapak kaki berlari. Sebaik saja dapat peluang masuk rumah, mencicit smua berlari kunci smua pintu d rumah sbb x mahu Adam masuk. Nasib baik sbb sebaik kami masuk rumah, Adam balik parang 2 dan terlekat d depan pintu. Dan lepas 2 masing2 penat. Adam tertidur depan rumah dan kakak2nya tertidur depan pintu (jadi penjaga pintu) sbb takut Adam cuba masuk. Jadi ingat tu, jangan usik orang melampau2...

Ada lagi cerita cinta dalam hidup aku...tapi nanti2lah cerita...haha...dah penat dah.

Ya. Saya suka membebel dan buat muka. So what?

Salam

Hi....

WARNING: ENTRY EMO. TAK SUKA JANGAN BACA. KALAU ADA YANG TERASA ITU ADALAH DISEBABKAN SIAPA MAKAN CILI, DIALAH TERASA PEDASNYA.

Yeap. Entry yang agak emo kan? hmmm...x de la emo sangat. Cuma panas sket. Yeap. Ak suka membebel dan buat muka. So what? Kalau korang x suka ak membebel dan buat muka, jangan wat ak naik angin boleh x?

Ak x faham macam mana ada org yg boleh duduk saja dan x buat papa2 sedangkan sekeliling dia macam tongkang pecah dah. Boleh ja duduk lepak dan buat x tahu. Basuh pinggan, periuk,kuali pun x mahu. Boleh ja basuh pinggan sendiri dan biarkan pinggan, kuali,periuk yang lain terbiar dekat sinki. Alasan? Ak pun x tahu kenapa. Yang pastinya, benda 2 sangatlah menyebabkan ak bengang. Ak saja biar ja benda 2 atas sinki nak tgk siapa akan basuh....hmmm.haraaaam x sentuh. Boleh ja biar kan?

Mmg orang kata, x leh berkira kalau buat kerja, nanti pahala x dapat. Abes 2 maknanya org yg mmg x mau buat kerja ni boleh 'dilepaskan' macam 2 ja la kan? Sbb yang nak buat kerja (sbb x tahan tgk benda2 2) adalah org yang kuat membebel dan buat muka. Jadi orang yg membebel dan buat muka ni jahat la kan sbb post mende ni dan berleter. Tapi kan, kalau org yang kuat membebel dan buat muka ni x buat smua benda 2, hmmm....haraaammmm....abes x gerak kot kerja.

Boleh x...buat kerja x payah ada yang suruh? Kalau x reti, belajar la. Dah besar panjang kot. Jangan pandai cakap ja, buat x mahu. Dah sampai oversea dah, maknanya pandai la 2. Jadi belajar la sayang....Jangan harapkan orang saja...

Maaf kalau ada yang terasa. Yang pati, kalau terasa 2, jadi lepas ni janganlah buat lagi ya?

So what if I am stuck in the 90's?

Salam...
Hi....

No...nobody pisses me off and that is not the reason why the title is like that. Why it is like that? Well, cause there is nothing wrong with being in the 90's right? I mean, it is the BEST year to be in (and I don't care if you disagree with me). *and I consider year 2000/01/02 still in the 90's cause I can and I will and you can't stop me*

Why 90's is the BEST year?

#The queen of pop a.k.a. Britney Spears (of course) revolutionize and shapes the music industry.
I mean, who don't know her? She is like THE public figure. Everyone wants to be her, everyone wants to know about her (still, don't care if you decided to disagree on this) and she is like the IT thing. What she wears, whom she dated (I still love Justin and Britney) and etc... people wants to know about that. She shapes many people's life (believe me...it is true)

In the 90's
#We have HELLUVA great songs back on that days. No auto-tunes, no crazy outfits, so slurring or singing like you are on dope, repeating the same word over and over again....we have GREAT music back on those days.

#The surge for boybands and girlbands like Westlife, NSYNC, BackStreet Boys, Spice Girls,  98 Degrees, 911, 5ive, Hanson, The Moffatts, Liberty X, A1, All Saints and many more that you know you know


#TITANIC...

yeah...If you tell me that you don't know this movie, then die and come back when you can remember this film. Yeah. I know...Why many people love this story anyway and why people cry a bucket after watching it? It is not THAT sad. I agree with you on that part but hell, it is quite sad but I only cried at two parts of this movie.

1. The scene where the old man hugged his wife on the bed as water starts to pour in the ship (they want to die together and that is soooo sweet and sad)

2. When the musician still play together and died together

#Best films...admit it...you've seen some of this and TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH IT right?
Films like:

Star Wars, The Lion King, Armageddon, Ghost, Mission Impossible, The Matrix, Tarzan, Batman series, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Jerry McGuire, Runaway Bride, The Mummy, Dr Dolitte, Pretty Woman, 3 Ninjas' series, Anaconda,  A Bug's Life, Sixth Sense, Forrest Gump, Home Alone, Jurrasic Park, Beauty and the Beast, Sleepless in Seattle, Seven, Never Been Kissed, Baby Geniuses, Casper series, Toy Story, Scream, She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You and so on and on and on...Gosh~all great movies...

some of the films are epic and kinda starts the whole genre of things. For example, Scream...seriously...this is why people wear this mask

and Star Wars...do I need to tell you bout the Star Wars fever? Gosh~EPIC

and others...well, you DO know them. just admit it

# great TV Series/ cartoons such as

100 Deeds for Eddie McDowd, Angel, Charmed, 7th Heaven, Ally McBeal, America's Funniest Home Video, Barney & Friends, Beverly Hills 90210, Baywatch, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The Simpsons, Hey Arnold!, Rugrats, Spongebob Squarepants (yeap...it was produced in the 90's)...

Isn't the 90's is great?

BTW,
You have got to check out these songs like (cause I love it)
Toybox - Tarzan & Jane
VengaBoys - Boom Boom Boom Boom
Dr Bombay - Taxi

I know that these songs may sound retard to you but admit it...It is kinda catchy.

I can always go back to that year for these songs like
Nsync - This I Promise You
Nsync - I drive myself crazy
911 - All I Want Is You
Steps - It's the way you make me feel

BSB - I Want It That Way
Plus One - Last Flight Out
Human Nature - Eternal Flame
S Club 7 - Never had a dream come true
The Moffatts - Girl of my Dream
The Moffatts - I Miss You Like Crazy
Gil Olfarim ft The Moffatts - If I Only Knew
98º - I Do (Cherish You) 
98º - The Hardest Thing
Gil Olfarim - It's Your Love
Liberty X - Just A Little
M2M - The day you went away
Boyzone - Baby Can I Hold You
5ive - If ya getting down
LFO - Girl On TV

and my list can go on and on...god~90's is DEFINITELY the best year....

*applause to myself*

Salam
Hi there...OMG. Today is my happiest day...like ever.hehehehe. I can FINALLY SWIM!!! Hurray to me! hehehehe

Yeah...It must be lame news eh? But for me who has never been able to swim for nearly 23 years now, being able to actually do it is a great news. I spent weeks after weeks trying to do so cause I can only go to the swimming centre; which is two towns away from my house, once every week. Why I can only go there once every week? Well, cause on Thursday night, it is women night. So for us Muslim ladies, that is the only time to actually go there and enjoy ourselves without being limited to others. Plus, cause I am a very slow learner, I can only do it after like 5 weeks time (minus the days when I didn't get to go to the centre).

I can float and all and I can do that for a long time before I properly learn how to swim. But that is it. I can float cause I used to go to camps where we have to do water confidence activity and all...but I never can swim. The reason is I can't breathe under water. Once I'm in water I kinda freaks out after few strokes of swimming. ><

But today, I can actually swim! (more than 5 strokes, which is a HUGE improvement for me).I can also swim until I reach the other end of the swimming pool (vertically, not horizontally...you know, the shorter length of the swimming pool).

BEFORE and AFTER pictures.
*they are not me....obviously and credit goes to google image cause I can't remember where I take the pictures*

BEFORE

I can only swim using bubbles like this

or clutching-ly holding the board and paddling away

and do this again and again and again

or just lazying around on this and watch enviously as others do laps in the pool

AFTER

I can do a bit of this...not so good in it yet

and I definitely have that smile on my face ^_^

Do pray that I can really swim by next week. hehehe.

Holiday

Salam

Hi...Gosh~finally holiday will start. Like FINALLY. So far, I've handed in my assignments so there is no more assignment until the end of the holiday (which starts next week...the holiday, not the assignment). Plus, there is no more meeting, thank god for that... ><

So this week, I spend my day doing almost nothing (unless you count that I still need to go to work and classes and cook at home; which kinda becomes almost-like-a permanent task to me now) and enjoying almost everything and it feels like heaven in my student's life. I am happy except for sometimes when I am moody for some reasons that are quite normal to being human.

I am happy...I really am...I guess.haha

Well, truth be told, I'm feeling kinda lonely. You know...this tight feeling that you have in your chest that just won't go away...Friends are great here. They really are...but I guess I'm missing Msian people.

Love you all...

Teringat dulu-dulu

Salam

tetiba teringat kenangan lama. Memori yang tersimpan, tersemat dalam ingatan tiba2 datang semula. Dan aku jadi rindu. Rindu kenangan lalu. Aish~ teringat masa d kolej. Teringat masa tunggu kelas Encik Petak, masa lepak dan makan sama2 cafe, masa tengah tunggu bas depan kolej ramai2 dan bersesak2, masa g buat rombongan Cik Kiah g Megamall, Teluk Chempedak...ooooh...rindunya....

Kenangan tu memang indah kan? Rindu semua.

Dan ya...saya rindu awak juga. Terutamanya awak berdua.

♪rindu serindu rindunya ♫

M.A.L.A.S

Salam...Hi...
Yeap. Right after I posted that I am super busy, now I am saying that I am super lazy. Typical me. When there are mountains of things to do, I usually automatically shut down my brain and refused to think anymore.

Red alert: Assignment to be handed in on Thursday (17th March) and next Monday (21st March)

one thing on top of the others

Salam

Hi...

HECTIC. That is the only word that I can think of to sum up the past few weeks. Classes are not packed but the workload are just waay to much. Well, actually it is kinda okay but since everything is kinda in a mess right now, I kinda am a little, tiniest tiniest bit tensed. Huhu.

Okay. So here is my tasks/assignments (the official one for the semester):

Assignments and due dates
21/03 - LING
27/03 - ALIN
04/04 - LING
07/04 - ALIN
08/04 - EPSY
02/05 - LING
23/05 - LING
26/05 - ALIN
03/06 - LING (Test)
09/06 - EPSY

Mountains of readings.

WMSO tasks:

Affiliations Due:
Friday 25th March, 5pm

Grants Due:
Trimester 1
Round 1: Friday 1st April, 5pm

BERSATU Games 2011 

Asian Night Market

*and more (can't remember which is which) ><

Personal:

My parents coming on 01/06 and goes back on 08/06

Well, you guys can see that the dates are kinda overlapping with each other. Well. What to do? There is no use of complaining and whining. This is university life folks. Enjoy...

Wellington quake

Salam...

Wellington was hit with another mild earthquake that startled many due to recent (and terrifying) earthquake in Christchurch. According to GeoNet, the earthquake that happened around 10.07 pm was on 4.5 magnitude and traveled in 40 km in depth. Many students feared that the earthquake will trigger more aftershocks that could further damage the city of Wellington in the future. Wellington was once hit with 8.5 magnitude in 1855 that makes the land being at the centre and weakest point for earthquake activity.

Kenapa ak tulis dalam bahasa Inggeris? Ntah. Ak pun x tau. Yang pasti tadi baru kena earthquake. Sbnrnya macam biasa r sbb Welly dalam kwsn earthquake tp yg menyebabkn  smua risau adalah kerana apa yang berlaku d Christchurch baru2 ni. Takot wooo....

Masa gempa tu jadi tadi, ak tengah solat. Risau gak tadi. huhu. Tapi masa kena, ak ingatkan ada org bwh jatuh ke apa ke. Al maklumlah rumah boleh rasa n tau kalau ada apa2 jadi. haha. adess...tapi alhamdulillah. smua okay. Terkejut sket je. Harap x de apa2 berlaku t. amin...

Loneliness

Salam....

Hi.

Loneliness. Gosh. I hate that word a lot. For me, loneliness is like a snake (or a Boa to be precise). It creeps out and attacked you when you are most vulnerable and exposed. Then it constricts and bind you up so tight, you will feel like you are being suffocated. After that, you either wish for a miracle in which you can escape from it or you give up and succumb to that horrible emotion. If you surrender, then you will be so depressed and you will want some company. Someone that wills say, 'It's okay. I am here with you.' instead of someone that just stare at you blankly, pretend to listen and then walks away without knowing or even caring that you are actually dying from the inside. 

I hate being lonely. I love being around people but not too many people cause I hate being crowded. I love being with some personal and close friends that I know care for me and is there when I needed them. Here I haven't found anybody that cares and want to be there like my Malaysian friend. It is not to say that people here didn't care but the feeling is different in Malaysia. I feel like an outcast here. Sometimes I even feel like I don't belong. Like I am just another face in the crowd, unnoticed and not cared for. I wish that I can find somebody that just like Hema or A'an. Well, I am hoping too much eh? Friends like them did not come often. 

Will I ever get to find someone like that in Wellington. Gosh. I just wish that you are here now. Cause the boa in me is constricting too tightly; I cannot breathe. I hate Wellington. 

Last day kuar dgn budak botak??? sob sob

Salam...

Hi. Hari Sabtu ari 2 ak kuar dgn budak botak lagi. Whoah...perasaan nak tinggalkan dia merupakan perasaan yang paling tak best dalam hidup ak. Rasa cam nak tinggal anak lak kan? haha. Pergh...pas ni bila la boleh tengok, peluk, cium, hidu bau rambut dia (ya. ak suka buat cam 2.asal? ko ada masalah dgn 2?. haha), gomol2 dia, tengok senyum sinis dia....huwaaaaa!!!sedih!!! Pas 2 t smua org dalam family ak akan start wat ak jeles dgn letak gambar dia dlm fb, update status dan even skype ak supaya ak leh tgk je tapi x leh pegang...huhu...kejam2.

Ni gambar2 ak dgn diamasa g mandi air terjun di Gua Kelam, Perlis.

P/S: peringatan: jgn ko berani kutuk sal badan ak dan jerawat ak yg nampak gila kat muka ak 2. dosa tau. sekian.haha

Dan dia start mengunyah bekas kamera 2.haha

 ala...wat muka comel lak.haha

Seronok makan itik.hehe

Dah ensem pakai baju.

Budak botak mengamuk mak dia lap ingus...haha

Happy balik bila nampak camera.mmg camwhore r dak ni sorang.

Suka sangat bila org blow raspberry kat muka dia.Geli.haha

Muka masam2 lemon.haha...nak sgt rasa.kta bagi rasa sket.amek...hehe