Salam
Hi...
Hoyeeeh...This entry might and will sound emo-like.
Gosh~ I am emo almost all the time eh? But that is what it takes to be human. One time you are up, the other time you are down...
I have many therapies that I use when I am feeling down. One of it is swimming but I didn't go swimming today. Why? Well, sometimes even your best therapy will not work for you if you are just not in the mood to do it.
So I tried another therapy. It is shopping therapy. This is a dangerous therapy cause well, it is expensive and you will end up regretting splurging that much money in one go. But at that time, you will console yourself cause yes, you are using what you buy and there is no harm to that (except for your pocket). What did I buy today? Well, I bought a pair of boots (been meaning to buy one since forever but I kinda almost regret buying that type cause the heels are very high and it doesn't feel suitable to climb up the hill everyday. But oh well, it is beautiful and since the people here are tall, that freakishly high boot, in my opinion, will look almost unnoticeable here.hehe). and I bought rings and others that costs NZD51. Surprised much? I know I am but well, it is not like everyday I buy that sort of thing. hehe. But I like what I bought just now and my therapy work. Not only I ended up feeling happy again, but I am all sweaty due to the walk and walking back wearing that high heel require lots of concentration and yes, it is tiring to balance yourself. So, it is 1+1. I am happy and I am healthier.hehe
Oh ...what I am telling you now doesn't fit the title of the post eh? That title is the reason why I am depressed in the 1st place. You see, I am a very fragile person (though I might look tough on the exterior but interior-ly I am very insecure and yes, fragile). Today, I was called in for an EXTRA extra tutorial for Linguistic paper that I am taking. Now, that is shocking to me because yes, I am not that smart and all but so far, I didn't get any C in that paper. Not yet anyway. So being called in for that session depresses me a lot. My grade was improving and yes, we didn't get the latest assignment back but hell, it cannot be that I fail that paper right? Plus, the only assignment that I got C in was another paper, not this one. So what is the reason? It makes me feel like I have been getting a C since the 1st assignment which I am not.
I know, very optimistic person (I hate this kind of people...your over-positiveness is killing and suffocating me) will say that this is a good opportunity to actually gain some insight, some knowledge to better improve the future assignment and bloody bloody bla....but hey. I am not that optimistic okay? It makes me feel very low, my self esteem just went right of the window and I am very VERY UNHAPPY. Call me in for another subject, I don't mind but seriously? Being called in for a paper that I am so far struggling but doing quite okay in it is a bit too much. and it is not helpful when you really don't have the mood to do it cause your mental keep on chanting to you "Babo, babo, babo" (just in case you are wondering what the heck was "babo". It is romaji for Korean for stupid - although it is mainly used in a friendly way but then again, stupid is stupid.)
Okay. That is one thing about being depressed that I am in that class. Another is of course, stupid, small thing with friend that will sometimes bug you a lot. I don't need to talk about that anyway.
Okay...but at least I am happy now.
Hi...
Hoyeeeh...This entry might and will sound emo-like.
Gosh~ I am emo almost all the time eh? But that is what it takes to be human. One time you are up, the other time you are down...
I have many therapies that I use when I am feeling down. One of it is swimming but I didn't go swimming today. Why? Well, sometimes even your best therapy will not work for you if you are just not in the mood to do it.
So I tried another therapy. It is shopping therapy. This is a dangerous therapy cause well, it is expensive and you will end up regretting splurging that much money in one go. But at that time, you will console yourself cause yes, you are using what you buy and there is no harm to that (except for your pocket). What did I buy today? Well, I bought a pair of boots (been meaning to buy one since forever but I kinda almost regret buying that type cause the heels are very high and it doesn't feel suitable to climb up the hill everyday. But oh well, it is beautiful and since the people here are tall, that freakishly high boot, in my opinion, will look almost unnoticeable here.hehe). and I bought rings and others that costs NZD51. Surprised much? I know I am but well, it is not like everyday I buy that sort of thing. hehe. But I like what I bought just now and my therapy work. Not only I ended up feeling happy again, but I am all sweaty due to the walk and walking back wearing that high heel require lots of concentration and yes, it is tiring to balance yourself. So, it is 1+1. I am happy and I am healthier.hehe
Oh ...what I am telling you now doesn't fit the title of the post eh? That title is the reason why I am depressed in the 1st place. You see, I am a very fragile person (though I might look tough on the exterior but interior-ly I am very insecure and yes, fragile). Today, I was called in for an EXTRA extra tutorial for Linguistic paper that I am taking. Now, that is shocking to me because yes, I am not that smart and all but so far, I didn't get any C in that paper. Not yet anyway. So being called in for that session depresses me a lot. My grade was improving and yes, we didn't get the latest assignment back but hell, it cannot be that I fail that paper right? Plus, the only assignment that I got C in was another paper, not this one. So what is the reason? It makes me feel like I have been getting a C since the 1st assignment which I am not.
I know, very optimistic person (I hate this kind of people...your over-positiveness is killing and suffocating me) will say that this is a good opportunity to actually gain some insight, some knowledge to better improve the future assignment and bloody bloody bla....but hey. I am not that optimistic okay? It makes me feel very low, my self esteem just went right of the window and I am very VERY UNHAPPY. Call me in for another subject, I don't mind but seriously? Being called in for a paper that I am so far struggling but doing quite okay in it is a bit too much. and it is not helpful when you really don't have the mood to do it cause your mental keep on chanting to you "Babo, babo, babo" (just in case you are wondering what the heck was "babo". It is romaji for Korean for stupid - although it is mainly used in a friendly way but then again, stupid is stupid.)
Okay. That is one thing about being depressed that I am in that class. Another is of course, stupid, small thing with friend that will sometimes bug you a lot. I don't need to talk about that anyway.
Okay...but at least I am happy now.
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