Tough Choice

Salam...

What will you do when you are affronted with difficult situation? Situations that involves tricky things like relationship that can be considered as tip-toeing on a landmine and being afraid that whatever you will say and do will eventually hurt the other person even though whatever you have in mind is basically for their own good and it is for the best?

What you will do about that? How will you deal with the situation? This is the kind of situation that will kill you inside and kinda hurt you to see that the other person did not know that you know and was and is hoping that you will never know about it. But you know and want to talk about it because it is wrong to accept that behaviour and I am not talking about culturally wrong but religiously wrong action that you will never sanction.

I am not a saint but I am not a devil either and I love this person a lot. I don't know whether this person know that I know and it bothers me because I can't really confront this person and ask sensitive questions to them right? And it bothers me because although it is widely known that this behaviour is a sin indeed but that person might just not know about it and since nobody says anything about this, maybe that person just think that everyone gives green light to that particular behaviour. And I do not consented this action at all cost. I hate it. But to say that I hate this things to that particular person will be too harsh. And many people have pointed out to me that "I am being hard and too harsh on people". Is it my tone? My very authoritative tone?

Because of these stupid little things that people say about me, I can't really interfere and tell this person what I thought about this little expedition that will turn out to be the most idiotic decision that one can make; especially when you are Muslim and you know that your religion prohibits and condemned this action. Okay, now I am being hard. I know...But what else can you do? You know that you might not be able to talk this person out of this lifestyle and you know that by saying this, that person will run away and hide from you; FOREVER. Period. So what can you do? 

This person is your family in Islam and you are supposed to care for them but you are not doing anything although you know that this is wrong. But what can you say so that you will not chase this person away from your life just because you care. You are not being nosy. This is a responsibility for all Muslim to care for other Muslims. But still, you are afraid to do so because of LOVE. I thought love is when you care enough to tell that person what is wrong and guide them to the path, the correct path of life...

Help me out here...

Your existence pained me

Okay… I am supposed to stop all the so dramatic-over-the-top-emotion. I seriously hope that I can but I can’t.  Just when you thought that you can get over that person, suddenly you are being reminded that you can’t. 

How can you forget all the memories, all the bitterness and pain that you have? Gosh…that kinda reminded me of my old self. *slapped myself for acting this way*

Grow up Farah…Forget that person. Do you think that that person remembers you at all? Don’t answer that. You know what the answer is yourself.

*forced a smile*

I am such a liar; which is kinda ironic because I hate liar. But I guess if I lie to myself it will be alright right?

Wake up call is here. Stop remembering cause it won’t change a thing.

Where is Lee Junki when you need him? Oh yes, he went to National Service. Duh…

Look at that face...

he is too beautiful eh?

 Anyway, I still have my incurable obsession over Yunho (my Korean hubby) and Jacob Black/Taylor Lautner (my English sweetheart) as well as my old-but-still-new-crush on Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles (my English hubby). They can help me to forget.

*I am forgetting already* =D

 P/S: Too many crushes? Well, a girl can always dream right?

Emosi terlebih

Salam...
Baru pas cakap dgn mak d Skype...selepas 4 bulan d sini, ni la kali pertama TERnangis dan MEnangis masa tepon rumah...
2 la..mungkin sbb Skype leh nampak muka kan? kalau tepon, ckp dgn orang yang paling kta x suka pun kadang2 x da effect...
dah sekali air mata 2 keluar, x tertahan2 la jadinya...
maka hari ni emosi ak terlebih...
pergh...bila la nak stop nangis ni...
T_____T
blur smpai x ternampak apa yang nak dtulis dalam blog ni...
kenapa boleh menangis ari ni?
well, mungkin sbb rasa bersalah pada mak...
rasa bersalah kat keluarga...
sbb datang sini masih main2...
dah la sponsor, pas 2 still main2...
aish~
mmg rasa bersalah...
2 r...riak gak dulu...cam slalu dapat score tinggi kan?
skrg bayang A pun x nampak g...
hari dah resah gelisah...sem dah nak abes...
sangat susah hati...
mak dan abah pulak kalau call msti ckp 'Buat elok2...score best2 cam dulu...kalau dulu boleh dapat score tinggi kenapa x boleh d sini..'
Bila mak dan abah kata cam 2, hati ni macam kena tikam...cam kena hiris...
toing!
kena sebijik kat muka...
bila sampai d sini, rasa cam semuanya asing
rasa cam bodoh...dah r masa diterima masuk program ni pun rasa cam x berhak terima
sbb ak tau ak ni x sepandai org lain...wpun ak suka English tp ak x pernah dapat semuanya dengan mudah.
mungkin ada org akan kata, mana ada org dpt smuanya dengan mudah. Life is tough.
tapi pada aku, luck 2 mmg bukan middle name ak...sangat la susah nak bertuah...
apa2 pun, mungkin ak kena re-evaluate myself....
kena jadi lebih tabah...lebih independent...
ish...kurangkan internet...

Ya Allah...bantulah hambaMu ini...

A.N.JELL

Salam...

Sejak akhir2 ni ak gila dgn cerita You're Beautiful. Gila sbb x boleh tgk...aish~
Ni la...sbb dah terjumpa dkt YT tp x leh tgk menyebabkan ak mereng sket.
Kenapa nak tgk kan?
Alasan biasa r kalau nak tgk cerita Korea: hero hensem...
hehe
Tp mmg pun. Muka dia punya la sombong, rasa cam nak sepak laju2 ja...haha
Ntah la...rasa cam cerita 2 best wpun byk feedback kata cerita tu bosan nak mampus.
Tapi lantak la...ak rasa ak mmg suka pun cerita bosan2 ni...lame stories...
Sbnrnya cam ada benda nak post tadi dlm blog tapi terlupa dah sal apa....
2 yang malas nak wat blog 2 kadang2...
Idea cam air...cepat sgt ilang...
Anyway...ni ada la video sal cerita ni sket... Kalau x leh tgk sila tgk di sini
aah~nak tgk cerita 2 skrg
A'an...cpat la antar CD 2...
x sabar tunggu June.
T________________________T   >___________________<

Btw...selingan...
ni ada video dari Happy Together Season 3
mmg epic la muka Rain dalam ni
n Goo Hara dari KARA mmg berani n spunky
Rain tgh compare tgn dia dgn kaki Goo Hara...Katanya kaki Goo Hara kecik sgt
N Goo Hara nak nyanyi lagu...
tiba2...hahahaha
aish~ne leh cita...tgk r video dia sendiri...
hehe
muka Rain mmg sgt lwk...
Kalau x leh tgk, sila tgk di sini

My Life According to Raihan

I guess that you can say that I am bored. So I took this from Alia's note and decided to go with it.

Rules:

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST or BAND, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the artist or band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name or artist)"

Start

Pick your Artist:
Raihan

Are you a male or female?
Tanya Ibu dan Ayah

Describe yourself:
Senyum

How do you feel:
Sesungguhnya

Describe where you currently live:
Dunia

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Satu Pagi di Hari Raya

Your favorite form of transportation:
The Right Path

Your best friend is:
Keamanan

You and your best friends are:
Mengemis Kasih

What's the weather like:
Puji Pujian

Favorite time of day:
Rindu di Aidil Fitri

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Damba CintaMu

What is life to you:
Syukur

Your last relationship:
Kehidupan

Your fear:
Yang disembah

What is the best advice you have to give:
Carilah Cinta

Thought for the Day:
Bacalah

How I would like to die:
Taqwa dan Iman

My soul's present condition:
Perjalanan

Most Faithful Companion:
God is the Light

My motto:
Tak Selamanya

Disney Princesses?

Remember all the kick-ass Disney girl? You know; all the cartoons about women that rock? I am sure that many of us know about that. Everyone knows about the classic Disney princesses and the recent-but-not-so-new-girls that bring down the house. Girls such as:

Disney Princesses

1.       Belle (Beauty and the Beast)

2.       Ariel (Little Mermaid)

3.       Snow White (Snow White)

4.       Cinderella (Cinderella)

5.       Princess Jasmine (Aladdin)

6.       Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)

Who else that I miss? Oh, not to forget, the recent beauties-with-brain-or-power such as:

1.       Mulan (Mulan)

2.       Pocahontas (Pocahontas)

3.       Jane (Tarzan)

4.       Kim Possible (Kim Possible)

And others. Well, we all (and by we all, I mean the girls) must have this dream once-upon-a-time on who that they want to be in their fantasy life. Well, I really love Belle ever since forever. It was the old Disney time, where not all princesses have brains. I do not mean that they are stupid or anything because they certainly are not. But you know, only Belle that loves reading and books and did not care for the stupid-no-brain-man (Gaston). Other princesses were swept from their feet in no time but she did not. I mean, Ariel fall in love instantly at the sight of Prince Eric and Snow White well, she just had one kiss and presto! she is in love. Cinderella and that guy (can’t remember his name) at one ball, just one dance. Princess Jasmine was flown away by Aladdin’s magic carpet and same like Snow White, Aurora fell with a kiss. One kiss. That is all that it takes. One simple kiss. Come on, life can’t be that simple. Yes, they faced challenges in reuniting and keeping their love but hey, love comes with a price.

Well, rambling back about Belle. Yes, she is a dreamer and she might be attracted to Beast because he is all that is dangerous and promises adventure-like-life. She imagined all that but that is what books give us. They give us imagination and let people to fantasize about things. It is not wrong to fall in love with a huge, beastly, warm, Jacob-like, hot (okay, get back on track) man/beast. It is not wrong to live in our dream where all the furniture can talk (they are once human okay? So it is not weird or anything) and be ‘imprisoned’ for life so that that hunky-dude can realize and absolute his mistakes in life. Plus, you will be the first woman that he ever love after nearly 15-17 years of being a beast? Furthermore, he is a price (well, all princesses fall in love with a price – except for Aladdin) and he is actually gentle inside. And that beautiful, stunning blue eyes of his and his magic rose…all that enticed me to love him more. And the fact that Belle has him makes it perfect. Hehe…

Okay I know. I am being highly biased here but who cares. My blog, my thoughts, my dreams, my world, my writing and everything is totally MINE. ME, ME and ME. Don’t like it? Beat it then. Do I look like I care? This is just something that I would like to say, a random thought from time to time. It is difficult to keep track of my mind since I always lose my concentration. I cannot focus much. So it is good to write it down sometimes since when I want to update my blog, I always do not know what to say. And I have three blogs! THREE! One to bore the hell out from those who care to read my blog, one to spazz about MY Yunho or DBSK/TVXQ and another one is a collaboration blog between me and my bestie which is a compulsory to update since guilt will bite you in the a** when you did not want to do that. It is not that I am complaining here (am I complaining?) but sometimes, you can’t just have three things to write in a single time and I do that all the time. It drained everything out of me. Haha *thinking something else here* *ignore me*

Okay, enough rambling. Words from the wise (that means me), to the wisest (me again): START EXERCISING! STOP PIGGING YOURSELF! You will be a mammoth when you get back home and you don’t want that to happen. BE FIT! BE HEALTHY! CHIAYOK! HWAITING! GANNBATTE! GOOD LUCK! SELAMAT BERJAYA!

I love myself =)

2 AM

Salam
Hi...

Baru2 ni ak byk dgr lagu Korea (sbnrnya selalu je dgr lagi Korea...hehe) dan ak suka lagu ni dari kumpulan 2AM. Tajuk dia 'A Friend's Confession' dan 'Even If I Die, I Can't Let You Go'. Skrg ni tgh layan blues...tgh jiwang2...jadi layan je la...

Enjoy.

2AM - Confession of A Friend/ A Friend's Confession

Translation lyric

It's been a long time, from the time when my heart gradually started to change,
and the time I began to feel alone
From some point whenever I saw you,
I hated the guy who was making you cry

Sometimes I wonder if it's better if instead I protect you,
From now on, rather then letting you go -
I'm beginning to want to love you

Baby, come to me now
and be my lady, for much too long
I've watched over you and stood silently,
and hid my heart's feelings of sadness
For the reason, the reason that we had to stay as friends.
I wanted to tell you many times
but I held onto my confession
But now I'll confess
I love you.

You hold my hand, and say you only have me,
and that a friend like me is a really big blessing,
Whenever you speak to me every time you press my love a little more

Sometimes I wonder if it's better if instead I protect you,
I keep hearing it but I kept ignoring it because I was scared that I might lose you
But,
Baby, come to me now
and be my lady, for much too long, I've stood silently,
and hid my heart's feelings of sadness
For the reason, the reason that we had to stay as friends.
I wanted to tell you many times
but I held onto my confession
But now I'll confess
I love you.

2AM - 'Even If I Die, I Can't Let You Go' (Never Let You Go)

Translation lyric

Intro
I can’t let you go, even if I die
I really can’t let you go
How am I suppose to let you go?
I can’t let you go

I can’t let you go, even if I die
I really can’t let you go
How am I suppose to let you go?
I can’t let you go

I can’t let you go, even if I die

I Can’t Let You Go, Even If I Die
Even though I’m young, the pain is the same
Just because I don’t know the world very well
Doesn’t mean that I don’t know pain

Why do you lie, saying it’ll be okay?
How will my heart that hurts this much
Be healed so easily?
How will I live without you?
That’s why I

Can’t let you go, even if I die
How am I suppose to let you go?
Whether you go or leave, fix my heart
If you can’t fix it so that I won’t be in pain
So that I can at least live
I wouldn’t be able to live anyway
I can’t let you go, even if I die

No matter how much you push me away
I’ll hold onto you until the end
So that you won’t be able to go anywhere

If you’re really going to leave, then lie
That we should meet again tomorrow
That we should meet as we smile
If breaking up wasn’t a joke, then I

Can’t let you go, even if I die
How am I suppose to let you go?
Whether you go or leave, fix my heart
If you can’t fix it so that I won’t be in pain
So that I can at least live
I wouldn’t be able to live anyway
I can’t let you go, even if I die

We went through so much time together
How are you telling me to live by myself now?
I can’t do that, I can’t

I can’t let you go, even if I die
I really can’t let you go
How am I suppose to let you go?
I can’t let you go
Whether you go or leave, fix my heart
If you can’t fix it so that I won’t be in pain
So that I can at least live
I wouldn’t be able to live anyway
I can’t let you go, even if I die

Outro
Even though it was tired, I couldn’t say that I was
Even though I was sad, I always smiled
Because if I say that I’m tired now, I might give up
Because if I say that I’m sad now, I might want to stop

Now I smile, I start smiling from my heart
Because I have you, who has waited for me
Because I can show you the me of today
I smile, I smile, I smile

Mungkin jugak korang patut tgk versi live sbb agak meremang bulu roma dgr...penuh perasaan...
TT____TT

Counting to Mothers' Day

Hi...

Mak, mama, mummy, mother, ibu, bonda, ma...
Semua perkataan di atas adalah sama, x kira macam mana sebutan dan ejaan. Hari ni tersentuh hati bila baca blog Tini berkenaan cerita ibu yang berlaku di China. Ada satu translation article dari China yang boleh dibaca di sini berkenaan berita itu.

Cerita tu wat ak terkenang kat mak. Ak ni jahat. Selalu kecikkan hati mak. Selalu wat mak susah hati. X penah senangkan hati mak. Kalau ada di rumah, jarang tolong mak. Selalu mak yang bising2 mintak tolong. Kadang2 2 teringin gak nak wat mak duduk relax satu hari d rumah, tapi selalu, 2 angan2 kosong je. X pernah tertunai. Selalu terbabas niat 2...

Ak selalu dan masih lagi rasa berdosa dengan mak sbb buat mak nangis masa ak dapat result PMR ak pada tahun 2003. Jahatnya ak...wpun dah byk kali mintak maaf kat mak masa raya, tapi ak masih lagi rasa bersalah. Pertama kali mak nangis depan ak. Masa 2 rasa kalau ak mati, msti dah masuk neraka Jahanam dah.

Masih ingat lagi cerita 2 macam baru smalam berlaku. Ak pergi amek result PMR di sekolah. Gembira jugak la sbb dapat 4A...Mmg 4A x byk mana, tapi sekurang2nya ak dapat satu A lebih dari along dan angah. Kwan2 ak? Jangan tnya la...wpun ak ada byk kwn yang pandai, tapi ak ni...aish~ Apa2 pun, bila ak dapat result 2 ak pun balik dan tunjuk kat mak. Ak harapkan mak akan kata

"bagus la 2. At least lebih satu A dari along dan angah"

Tp x...mak kata:

"Kenapa dapat banyak ni je?"

Masa 2 hati ak tersentap. Muka mak x gembira langsung. Dan lantas mulut ak terkeluar perkataan ni:

"Ye la..Ain tau Ain ni bodoh," sambil buat muka kat mak.

Masa 2 spontan tangan mak naik...Tapi mak berhenti sebelum dia tampar ak. Ak terkejut sangat. Muka mak mmg keruh...dan pada masa 2 air mata mak mengalir laju...pas 2 mak keluar dari rumah dan duduk di buaian depan rumah. Ak sangat2 terkejut smpai x tau nak buat apa. Mak x penah menangis pasal apa yang ak cakap. Jadi ak x tau nak buat apa.

Selalunya dulu, bila kami buat kesalahan kat mak, kami akan tulis surat dan minta maaf kat mak. Ak buat benda yang sama, letak kat bilik mak, tampal d almari mak,letak dalam beg mak...smuanya ak buat dan letak di mana2 saja mak ada. Tapi x berhasil. Mak x mau ckp dgn ak. Mak mmg tgh x nak peduli kat ak. Masa 2 mmg x tau dah nak buat apa. Berdosa 2 jangan ckp la...Rasa hina sangat2 buat macam 2 kat mak.

Masa 2 dah nak bukak sekolah. Mak x berckp dgn ak hampir sebulan. Bayangkan perasaan ak masa 2...X tentu arah ak dibuatnya. Mak smpai gunakan adik ak sebagai org tgh untk tnya ak apa ak nak beli utk sekolah sbb x berckp dgn ak. Ak tau, kalau ak cerita ni kat mak, dia bukan nak ingat. Dia mesti akan ckp

"ya ka? x ingat pun"

tapi ak ingat. Ak cuba nak ubah perangai ak, x nak bagi mak rasa tertekan atau penat sgt...tp 2 la...ak anak yg jahat...x pernah buat mak gembira...Ak x mau mak menagis dan ak x mo org lain buat mak menangis. Sbb 2 ak akn x suka org yang buat mak menangis sbb ak tahu mak x mudah mengalirkan air mata. Jadi ungkin bila ak bercinta, bila ditanya apakah kedudukan dia dalam hati ak? Ak akan jwb, lebih dari no 5.

Kedudukan dia begini:

1. Dia
2. Mak/abah
3. Tok Ayah
4. keluarga aku
5. Taqim
6. Hema/A'an
7. kwn2 lain
8. mungkin dia

Mak, Ain nak minta maaf sgt2 kalau Ain ada lukakan hati mak. Ain sayangkan mak...

Mak ni sangat la penting dalam hidup kta manusia. Even Edgar Allan Poe yang byk tulis gothic novel pun kata gni sal mak

Because I feel that in the heavens above
The angels, whispering one to another,
Can find among their burning terms of love,
None so devotional as that of "Mother"

Another quote for mothers' day:

To the world you might just be one person,
but to one person you might just be the world.

I love u mum

Hurricanes

Hi...

Biasa la...pada sesiapa yang tahu ak pergi ke perlawanan rugby di Stadium Westpac, Wellington semalam tahu yang ak akan tulis pasal cita ni...

Hurm...smalam g tgk perlawanan 2. Ak bukan tahu sangat sal rugby, rasanya ak lebih tahu sal American Football sbb byk filem spt Remember the Titan, The Longest Yard, The Gridiron Gang, The Replacement dan Little Giants yang cerita sal American Football. Tambahan pula manga kegemaran ak, EyeShield 21 mmg cerita sal AF. Jadi ak lebih tahu peraturan game AF dari rugby.

Tapi, dah tiket kena sponsor, cuma byr NZD$5.00 saja, jadi baik pergi.

Perlawanan ini antara Hurricanes (Wellington) VS Chief (ak x tau diaorg wakil mana...hehe).

Best gak r match 2...Cuma ak rasa Hurricanes boleh menang sbb byk penyokong. Mana x nya, masa Chief dpt try n score, satu stadium 'boo'... Ak pun akan rasa tertekan gak kalau main dalam situasi 2...

Bagi ak, Chief lagi bagus sbb permainan dia konsisten, kemas dan pertahanan dia kuat. Cuma mungkin kalah mental...2 ja...Kalau Hurriacanes, byk star player je yang bwk bola, yg lain2 2 mcm x de kerja sgt. Mmg la diaorg pun main gak tp x sebyk smua pemain dalam Chief. Ak kagum dgn barisan pertahanan Chief. Bygkan, bola boleh kata kurang dr 0.5M nak jadi goal (ak x tau istilah apa digunakan utk goal. Dlm AF, touchdown. Adakah itu menda yang sama?) tp Hurricanes x boleh lepasi benteng 2...Dan kebayakan dari masa 2, Chief akan tendang balik bola ke atas supaya Hurricanes x boleh mara. Ak kecewa jugak sbb sikit sgt nak lepas, tp x boleh2... Faham x maksud ak? Ringkasnya, sbb pertahan Chief kuat sgt, jadi Hurricanes x boleh mara.

Bagi ak, Hurricanes menang semangat sbb satu stadium penuh dgn penyokong Hurricanes je. Leh kata kurang dr 10 orang penyokong Chief. Susah nak memang tanpa sokongan...Ak pun bila tgk kuatnya Chief, rasa macam nak sokong...Tp pas 2 Intan kata, ak kena bersedia nak mati sbb belakang ak kipas-susah-mati Hurricanes. haha

Anyway...Ini adalah gambar pemain Chiefs.

dan saya sgt suka pemain middlefield back dia...hahaha

Callum Bruce

Position:	Second five-eighth
Height:	1.80m
Weight:	93kg
Date/ Place of Birth:	09/June/1983 at Hastings
Education:	Napier Boys High School. Otago Polytechnic - diploma in Sports Performance. Otago University - degree in Phys Ed.
Province:	Waikato