Pakai cantik2

Salam

Terbaik...sptutnya kena stdy sbb test dah dekat tapi haremmm...aish~pa la nak jadi Farah oii...X pe la...wpun akan menyesal nanti but x mo kira skrg. >< (jgn ikut perangai ni ok?)

Sejak dua menjak ni org Wellington mungkin perasan yang ak macam melaram gla dengan make-up smua...ke x da orang perasan dan ak ja yang perasan sorang2? haha...apa2 la. well, ada jugak la yang tegur ak mcm melawa gla sejak dua menjak ni dan smua suspek ak ada someone special...

Kalau la betul sangkaan smua kan????hahaha. (gatai lak kan?) x ada la...spa nak kat ak ni? dah r x lawa, hot ja lebih cam Gloria...garang lak 2...gelak x ingat dunia...pandai pun x kan...but I know that and I am cool with all that. I mean, that is me and me alone. I am loved and being hated by that tapi ramai yg sayang so biar ja la. Jodoh 2 ada d mana2 kan? Entah2 depan mata ja kan? (depan mata ak skrg ada gambar Yunho...adakah???hahahahahaha) Ok. dah melalut...

Kalau orang melawa ja kata nak dating...adesss...apakah assumption ini? Ya ak nak dating. Dating dengan diri sendiri. X boleh? You jelly I dating dengan diri I sendiri? *dengan suara gedik tahap maksima* hahahaha

Ak nak melawa utk diri sndiri. Salahkah? Mungkin akan ada yang kata, alah...nak p kelas ja. Buat pa lebih2? Well, suka ati la kan? Kita manusia mmg suka melawa apa? Fitrah manusia sukakan benda cantik. So biar la ak nak melaram sat...x boleh ka? Ak bunuh org ka dengan melaram2 cam ni? X kan? (eh, ada ka?) Ak nak melawa sbb ak nak sayang diri ak sendiri...apa salahnya nak diri sndiri rasa cantik. Ok.mungkin ada yang kata, nak p kelas ja, x yah la makeup gla2. org lain pun x pakai cam 2...tapi ko x rasa ko pun melawa jugak ke bila ko pilih baju nak ke kelas? ko pun pakai aksesori gak kan? Tapi ak x minat aksesori dan baju ak x da la vogue-de-vass cam ko, jadi ak opt for makeup. Apa? Ko jelly ak makeup banyak2? At least x da la ak makeup cam org d Lorong Haji Taib...ak makeup basic2 ja. Smokey eyes kalau gedik...2 ja pun...chill r beb. Plus...bukan all time ak pakai cam ni...Paling byk ak pakai eyeliner sbb ak gla eyeliner...2 ja...so lepak k?

So ak x da sesiapa yang special. well, maybe ada tapi ak x kenal dan x tahu nama dia.hoho. Sila la bagitau smua yg saya x da yg special g k? hahahah.gurau ja. tpi agak siyes r n nak tekankan, di sini, ak makeup 4 myself. 4 my own entertainment. x for others. x da masa utk org len weyh... ok...ciao.

Where were you when I needed you the most?

Salam

Hi...

Hoyeeeh...This entry might and will sound emo-like.

Gosh~ I am emo almost all the time eh? But that is what it takes to be human. One time you are up, the other time you are down...

I have many therapies that I use when I am feeling down. One of it is swimming but I didn't go swimming today. Why? Well, sometimes even your best therapy will not work for you if you are just not in the mood to do it.

So I tried another therapy. It is shopping therapy. This is a dangerous therapy cause well, it is expensive and you will end up regretting splurging that much money in one go. But at that time, you will console yourself cause yes, you are using what you buy and there is no harm to that (except for your pocket). What did I buy today? Well, I bought a pair of boots (been meaning to buy one since forever but I kinda almost regret buying that type cause the heels are very high and it doesn't feel suitable to climb up the hill everyday. But oh well, it is beautiful and since the people here are tall, that freakishly high boot, in my opinion, will look almost unnoticeable here.hehe).  and I bought rings and others that costs NZD51. Surprised much? I know I am but well, it is not like everyday I buy that sort of thing. hehe. But I like what I bought just now and my therapy work. Not only I ended up feeling happy again, but I am all sweaty due to the walk and walking back wearing that high heel require lots of concentration and yes, it is tiring to balance yourself. So, it is 1+1. I am happy and I am healthier.hehe

Oh ...what I am telling you now doesn't fit the title of the post eh? That title is the reason why I am depressed in the 1st place. You see, I am a very fragile person (though I might look tough on the exterior but interior-ly I am very insecure and yes, fragile). Today, I was called in for an EXTRA extra tutorial for Linguistic paper that I am taking. Now, that is shocking to me because yes, I am not that smart and all but so far, I didn't get any C in that paper. Not yet anyway. So being called in for that session depresses me a lot. My grade was improving and yes, we didn't get the latest assignment back but hell, it cannot be that I fail that paper right? Plus, the only assignment that I got C in was another paper, not this one. So what is the reason? It makes me feel like I have been getting a C since the 1st assignment which I am not.

I know, very optimistic person (I hate this kind of people...your over-positiveness is killing and suffocating me) will say that this is a good opportunity to actually gain some insight, some knowledge to better improve the future assignment and bloody bloody bla....but hey. I am not that optimistic okay? It makes me feel very low, my self esteem just went right of the window and I am very VERY UNHAPPY. Call me in for another subject, I don't mind but seriously? Being called in for a paper that I am so far struggling but doing quite okay in it is a bit too much. and it is not helpful when you really don't have the mood to do it cause your mental keep on chanting to you "Babo, babo, babo" (just in case you are wondering what the heck was "babo". It is romaji for Korean for stupid - although it is mainly used in a friendly way but then again, stupid is stupid.)

Okay. That is one thing about being depressed that I am in that class. Another is of course, stupid, small thing with friend that will sometimes bug you a lot. I don't need to talk about that anyway.

Okay...but at least I am happy now.

Things that annoy me...(just me,maybe not others)

Salam...

Hi.

This is basically a ranting post. So don't like don't read.

1st annoying thing: Blog (Me, My, Mine)


Why I write blog? To be famous? To be known (yes it is similar but not in the same context)? To show people who I am and how 'great' my writing is? (well, I know that I am not good at all...) So why I bother blogging? Lets just say that it is for my sanity and so that I can let go and write what is on my mind...Isn't that the purpose for blogging? If you hate me, why you even bother following my blog? I didn't force you to...so why bother?

That is one of the thing that annoys me to no end...I am not someone that seeks for popularity so this is definitely not the reason for me to blog. But it really gets to me when people say that do not use this line like "this is my blog, don't like don't read" or "this is my blog. I can write whatever I want". Isn't that correct? The line I mean... This IS MY blog...MY personal things and thoughts so I have ALL the rights to write whatever I want. So if you hate me for saying that, stop following me. Do I care if you stop? I know I don't. Stop following me. It is annoying to hear you say that (talking to people who think that they've said/written that I should stop using that line).

2nd annoying thing: If the door is locked, it means that somebody is in that room

Does that need telling? God~ If you tried to open any door and it is locked and you can't open it, it means that SOMEBODY IS USING IT. duuuh~ Do I need to yell that I am in that room? Do I????? It is a common sense people. Door will not be automatically locked. This is not the hotel where it is automatically closed like that. I don't know that the bathroom door is 'automatically locked' in this house. If YOU cant OPEN it, give up and wait for a while. THERE IS SOMEBODY in it. So wait...Don't go knocking and ask

"Is anybody inside?"

It makes me wanna say,

"No. The door is automatically locked and the shower and the light turns on automatically when NOBODY is inside."

Duh~

3rd annoying thing: Knocking non-stop

For the love of God. If people do that, it will drive me insane. No, it is no just annoying, it is driving people mad. Can't you just knock for like 3,4 times and wait for a while cause, oh, I dunno...maybe that person is ON the WAY to open the door. So WAIT...It is not like you will die for waiting.

You can knock like that if, let say maybe somebody is chasing you and about to kill you with 7 inch knife or something like that. Or you wanna pee so much it might spill there and then. But to knock just to let others open it for you asap? That is seriously fucking with me and trust me, I will kill you for that (with my look).

4th annoying thing: Talking and advising me like you know me that much

Like seriously? Are you kidding me? Who are you? You are just A FRIEND. You don't know me that much okay? Even my parents don't know me that much. I know myself better than you. It is not like you are my best friend that is like my other half. You are just someone that happens to know me a bit. So stop acting like you know me inside out k? You are not my brain or emotion and you are definitely not me. So just stop.

5th annoying thing: Waking me up to ask if I am sleeping

Hell to the no. You will receive my dagger look if you do that. I mean, what the hell are you trying to achieve/do when you look at my comfortably sleeping face and asked me,

"are you sleeping?"

well, if that happens, I just wanna quote something from tumblr in this situation.

"No, I am not sleeping. I am practicing to play dead."

God...are you that thick headed?

6th annoying thing: Disturbing me when I am watching my fav video/movies/ the most important scene/ climax

Do I need to tell you that it is helluva annoying? Why? Do I need to explain why? ughhh~

7th annoying thing: saying that I shouldn't procrastinate when my assignment is due in another 2 hours

Really? Do you need to throw that to my face now? If my hand is not busy to type furiously, I would've strangle you for sure. So why don't you be a good person and backs off or HELP in that situation instead of saying "You deserve it". Believe it, I KNOW THAT ALREADY.

8th annoying thing: telling me that I shouldn't eat my favourite food and acting as if you are my dietician. 

I really feel like punching people who said that. I mean, who are you? If you wanna be health freak, then go ahead and be one. Leave me out from that obsession of yours. I am not interested okay.

It is annoying okay when I am about to eat my chocolate and you go all wise and say:

"You know that chocolate can make you fat and it will rot your teeth?"

and I will say (in my brain but not by my mouth)

"Yeah? Well fcuk you. May you rot too"

9th annoying thing: Calling me fat and saying that I shouldn't wear this and that cause it will makes me look fatter

Well, thank you for telling me about the obvious. If you offer your opinion nicely, then I will appreciate that. But no, you have to go all the way and say this instead,

"That is such a small size. Aren't you bigger than that? Shouldn't you give that size to me instead? Why don't we switch cause I am smaller than you."

and then you have to repeat that again and again to my face.

Well, thank you for downgrading me. It feels much better when you say it. Thank you....you jerk.

10th annoying thing: Saying that I spend too many time downloading and gathering movies but...you ended up asking for new movies from me

Isn't that just great?

What my heart wants to say...

Salam...

Hi.

This is a post that might not make sense at all.

My heart is scarred, it is wounded and I am amazed that I can still live up until today. Sometimes, I am afraid to be close with someone, to have expectations, to care...but I always ends up doing all of that even though I know that I will be hurt in the end...Life is a bitch sometimes but when you have people that love you, that care for you, all the hatred and suffering in the world won't matter. But when you lose that connection with the one that you love and you are here, almost 8906.8km away from home and you have nobody to turn to, suddenly, everything matters...especially when things got bad and you find yourself being alone, having a life only through internet and that is when that one connection became extremely important to you.

I wish I can simply pull them out from pictures and hug them tightly so that this feeling will just go away...I wish that pictures can move and Harry Potter is real but life does not work that way....and it sucks. Damn it...god.my heart hurts a lot now.

Loneliness does not suit me to the tee...I can't be alone or feel like I am alone. Yes, I know, Allah is always with us but having to see one people that care about you will be great. Cause I need that love and affection now.

I know that I never seemed lonely cause I will always be around friends but that's it...they are friends...they are not best friends. they don't care about you as much as your best friends. cause they are just friend. and friend is nor the same as best friend.

If I can apparate, then I will be home in a heartbeat. I miss you