Need to get this out from my chest....

Hi...
today, although the weather is great, but my heart, mind and soul is not.
If the sky today is as blue as the baby's sky...my heart is not...
I think I am in depression mode...
I might be smiling and laughing and jabbering and talking like always but deep inside, there is a turbulence going on.
That feeling is not good.
It is like a black hole, sucking everything inside.
I want to go back
I want to go to USM, study my literature, be with A'an and all USMers rather than being stuck here and feeling alone in a huge crowd.
I want to be able to go back home anytime without needing to worry about anything.
I want to be spazzing with latest news and gossip around freely
I do not want to meet and be familiar with strangers that did not understand and need time to really know me as who I am
I do not want the unfamiliarity and the uneasiness that accompanies the new surrounding
I want to be ME without needing to explain to people that I do not mean anything bad with the way I am talking
Yes, I am harsh with words
but do know that I did that unconciously
Yes, I do tend to forget the fact that we didn't know each other that well
and I know that it takes time for you to fully understand me and me to understand you
but hell
That new feeling of wanting to know people
that feeling of really wanting to meet new people...
I do not want to go through that again
to establish good image, to be likable and always have to be on your toes is tiring
it is boring
I want people that know me for who I am
I need my besties in Malaysia
take me home, bound me there as this is a suffering that I do not want to endure...

I miss you Malaysia
I miss you USMers
I miss you, my family...

Gosh~
The tears is starting to form...
I guess I better stop now...
or else there will be rain on this fine, clear weather...

Risau

Salam...
Hi, saya risau.
Itulah topik blog kali ini.
Duit memang selalu buat orang pening kepala. Itulah situasi aku sekarang.
Masalah ini amat memeningkan kepala otak dan meyerabutkan situasi aku yang kini berada di negara orang (macam ayat karangan yang amat skema)
Kalau ada di negara sendiri, boleh lah lari balik dan buat muka kesian kat mak.
Tapi kali ni situasi ini berlaku bila aku berada sekurang2nya 12jam penerbangan dari rumah.
Pening...pening
Takkan la nak minta duit kat mak n abah kan?
Dah r salah sendiri, pas 2 beza duit lak alahai...pening
Takkan la nak jadi anak yang x abes2 menyusahkan mak bapak...
Risau...risau

Tu la...ak risau bila dapat duit yang selambak ni sblm fly ari 2
Dah namanya pun manusia kan?
Msti lupa diri dan hilang ingatan tgk duit yang byk g2
Dah r 2...negara ni pulak guna sistem macam debit card...
Pe g...asyik swipe card smpai x sedar duit 2 mcm dah jadi paip bocor...
Dan ak ada lagi 5 bulan untuk dpt duit yang seterusnya...
Mslhnya, duit sekarang...(sigh)
Tak tau nak buat macam mana dah...
Nak kerja, tp workload reading macam siot...
Byk gle nak kena baca...
Asgmnt n test lagi...
Tp pas Easter break ni keja r kot...
Insyaallah...kena kerja gak...

Nak beli tikey balik g...
Aish~
Macam mana ni...
Yes money is not everything but EVERYTHING is MONEY!!!

Sejuk!

Salam...
hi
lama lak x update blog...
sekarang saya ingin mengomel ttg cuaca sekarang
Ya Allah...
sjuknyer d sini smpai betul rasa nak nanges...
sejuk x boleh tahan...
nasib baik x de salji
kalau x mati la...
cuaca sini mataharinya terang tapi terang sangat sampai silau
tp bila angin d Wellington bertiup, rasa macam ada dalam peti ais...
Kalau hujan pula, rasa macam berbaldi2 ais disiram atas kepala
Tp itu la...
manusia ni x pernah puas...
kalau sjuk mengadu, panas pun begitu
x bersyukur langsung
huhu
kesimpulannya, saya tetap sejuk...
aargh~
nak balik Malaysia...
huhu

Me in Wonderland

haha...
tajuk gle cliche...
t x kisah...
ak dah lama balik dr tgk Alice in Wonderland...
gle gedik n meronta2 nak tgk sbb ada Johnny Depp
pergh~
wpun byk review kata filem ni x best tp pape jek yg melibatkan Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and of coz the genius Tim Burton (or should I say the Gothic Tim Burton?)
pape je la
yang penting ni review ak utk filem 2

Alice in Wonderland (2010) by Tim Burton

okay. ak ada harapan yang tinggi pada filem ini...
mungkin sbb dah biasa tgk cerita Tim Burton dan kerjasama yang mengkagumkan antara dia dan Johnny Depp.
jadi harapan pada filem amatlah tinggi menggunung
dari hari pertama dengar yang filem ini akan dibuat, kepada pengumuman barisan pelakon yang hebat seperti Helena, Johnny dan Anne Hathaway serta pelakon baru itu, ak amat teruja dengan filem ini.
Bila sampai d New Zealand, ingatkan agak makan hati sbb org kata filem lambat smpai d sini.
tp tengahari tadi, dah g tgk filem ni.
dsbbkan sgt minat (filem dan pelakon) jadi komen ak akan berat sebelah.
asyik nampak yg cantik ja dulu


perasaaan:sangat teruja
rating:       berjuta2 bintang d langit pun x dapat nak lwn filem ini =)
komen: 
mungkin dsbbkan Disney merupakan penerbit filem, jadi filem ini agak biasa utk taraf Tim Burton. Ak mengharapkan lebih byk watak dan perasaan dari pelakon2 ni sbb mereka sgt hebat. Watak mereka dalam filem ini hebat, namun, perasaan mahukan yang lebih agak menyebabkan perasaan bosan itu agak timbul dalam hati. Namun begitu, syabas dan tahniah diucapkan kepada filem ini kerana jalan ceritanya yang menarik dan ak ingin tgk cerita ini dalam 3D. Tapi kesimpulannya, ak SUKA SGT filem ini!!

Jatuh Tergolek Dalam Hidup

Salam...hi
Hari ni ada usrah/main2
macam mana usrah boleh main2?
hurm...
d sini usrah dia sempoi sket
ak rasa r kot
sbb ni usrah pertama
hurm...
ktaorg g harbor and main2 d sana
main in-line skating
saya idak le pandai main roller blade
dah tinggal lama gle
last main masa kecik2 dulu
jd bila nak main balik, rasa kekok r
dah lama main seronok r pulak
tp harbor ramai gle org
dragon boat race x abes g (sbb amaran tsunami minggu lepas dikeluarkan, jadi perlumbaan batal-mungkin sbb 2 hari ni ada perlumbaan 2)

berbalik kepada main skate
best r jugak
seriau pun de
bagi yg x tau maksud seriau 2, kalau pada ak, maksudnya ialah risau\
tp x tau la bagi org len...
n ak masih lagi phobia dgn nak brek roller blade 2
x berani nak angkat kaki
biasa la...masa main, ak jatun cam nangka 2 3 kali
bukan jatuh atas bontot r, ak tampan (org Kedah nyer perkataan yg maksudnya tahan dan bukannya tampan=kacak) dgn tangan...
resultnya, skrg ni urat ak cam lari sket
effect dia dirasai di leher dan bukan kaki
aish~
tp best
wpun jatuh depan org ramai, tp org2 Kiwi ni buat derk je...
x de yg ketawa, dak2 kecik je yang gelakkan ktaorg
tp x pe la
ak x kisah
2 yg pelik 2
x malu langsung
bila jatuh, bangun n cuba lagi

okay
ni gambo roller blade (sila click utk tgk gambo) yg ktaorg men

when what hugs stopping earth than silent is

tetiba td came across poem ni...
dan saya amat suka...
enjoy...

When what hugs stopping earth than silent is

by E.E.Cummings

when what hugs stopping earth than silent is

more silent than more than much more is or

total sun oceaning than any this

tear jumping from each other least eye of star

and without was if minus and shall be

immeasurable happenless unnow

shuts more than open could every tree

or than all life more death begins to grow

end's ending than these dolls of joy and grief

these recent memories of future dream

these perhaps who have lost their shadow if

which did not do the spectres mime

until out of merely nothing comes

only one snowflake (and as we speak our names)